BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Relationship- why?

Let me try Alexandra. thanks.

Yes, it takes effort. But it's very simple.

Simple does not mean easy, it just indicates that the mechanisms are extremely non-complcated. But letting go, such are our habits, is not an easy task.

Agreed.

Das,

I counter your comment on dropping the pain and being free now with..

Why would I want to do that? I not only love the man I am married to but I like him as well. Why would I want to throw away my marriage, my best friend and all that we have built together?

His Brandy , you are lucky.
What is the status of your home?
If I am not forgetting there was some worry about that.

We found a house that we are trying to buy but in the middle of making a purchase, my husband's job became unstable and he has a pay decrease. We are waiting to see if we will be able to continue with the purchase.

I will let you know when we have news. Again, thank you for your thoughts and kind words.

On a note of pain in relationships. The living situation we have and the concerns we carry have had a negative impact on our relationship. We keep trying to move past that and ahead though.

His Brandy,
What do you see as a definition of "dropping... everything..."?
I think there may be an element of crossed wires here...!

Alexandra,

Based on the way the conversation has gone, I read it as Das is saying drop the relationship.

But perhaps I am wrong on that?

Yes, I think possibly there may be a misunderstanding there, in addition to which i think the original "culprit" may have not been das, but - me.
It all began when I tried to illustarte that we as human beings function on two levels. the "basic" animal instinct, mammalian level, and the more familiar, emotive humanistic level.
he then ventured to ask me whether we should be like animals. Should we be able to just "drop the emotional aspect? He further suggested this was only possible if one had studied for a long time and one was led by a Guru. Could anyone do that?
To which I replied, "yup".

When I avered that one could 'drop it', I didn't mean the relationship as a whole.
I was referring to the emotional, painful aspect that can bind us and tie us down, deplete us and enfeeble our senses due to anguish and pain.
It is possible to 'drop it', and I can attest to the fact that you don't necessarily need a guru. I am able to move on very easily from situations of distress, and the only Guru I have had is the one in my Mind and Heart.
Plus several good Buddhist books and discussions with fellow Buddhists on another forum....!


Then he got onto mental states, and the discussion diverted somewhat....

It all got a bit off-topic and heavy I guess!

das has now left the board, so he can no longer respond.


Hope that clarifies things....

That may well be what was meant.

Why has Das left?