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I was about half humorous. I get so sick and tired of folks thinking we are somehow different than the rest of the population and are determined to find out how or 'what its like.' So I ask very seriously,

What is it like to be straight? How does it make you feel? What do you do in bed? Are you sex crazed maniacs? Do you cheat on your partners every chance you get?
Do you think we, as homosexuals do those things any more than you do?
Do you think we are different than you are? Guess what? Being gay is just exactly like being straight but for the attitude of so many straight people towards us.

We are your parents, your children, your sisters, brothers aunts and uncles. We are your teachers, your doctors, lawyers, ministers, priests, nuns, clerks, truck drivers, social workers, nurses, garbage collectors, bartenders, entertainers, movie stars, your next door neighbors, your friends. And often, you don't even know it. Too bad it is so important to you that we be different. We are not!

Last edited by pondlady; 06/08/07 10:14 PM.

Jan Goldfield

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I understand Pondlady.
However, it was a gay woman who advanced the question here, not a straight person, so I'm not sure that in this particular case, any dark motivations apply.
I do agree completely - we are as varied, as normal or weird, as political or apathetic or funny or stern as anyone else. Gay people are merely people who have a sexual preference of their own gender. Setting that aside, I pretty much reject all stereotypes.
The stereotypical gay male is not who I am! Like a lot of straight men, I love to cook, I love to tinker around the house and garden, and I am pretty in touch with my emotions ( as are bridge brain straight males.) But I do not in any fashion resemble the gay male of the media, ala " Will and Grace". I dress head to toe Goodwill lol...I am an avid rabid sports maniac, I play in a band and it's NOT show tunes that we play lol!
Maybe this has a lot to do with the fact I was raised first and foremost to be a Meskwaki. Being Two Spirited was an honored part of my culture, not a deviation.
I never had tv or movies to portray to me the stereotypes of gays. I hate to say it, but I think a lot of young gay men copy those emo sorts they see in the media, just as the girls copy Britney or whomever. It is adopting an identity for the sake of fitting in, to an extent.
At any rate, being gay was just one thing about me, and never quite as important as how well I could play basketball smile


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Hi folks! my first post here,

I'm a 50 year old gay male. Up until just recently thought I could've answered the threads question pretty easily.

just recently i met a person who I have been working with. I found her warm and shared many of the same thoughts. I mistook her intentions and found out she was interested in me on a physical level. i explained I was gay, and that while I was flattered, I was in a relationship. She was so despondent and felt betrayed. As I said, I mistook her interest. I tried to explain, and after all was said an done we became closer. She really liked our talks, and we had the occasion to hug. I thought nothing of it, however she was quite taken aback and wanted more.

Having only been with men, I was a bit uncomfortable, however for the sake of the relationship I felt obliged to accommodate her physical needs. While I didn't find it objectionable, there's certain aspects I do find quite unsettling. When I tried to explain this to her she's responded with how "I don't know what I'm missing", if I "try it I'll like it"...etc. etc. The couple of attempts have left me in hives, and so unsettled.

So, "what's it like to be gay"? LOL, for me itchy.


lead me not into temptation...I find it fine on my own.
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Originally Posted By: strange1
I mistook her intentions and found out she was interested in me on a physical level. i explained I was gay, and that while I was flattered, I was in a relationship. She was so despondent and felt betrayed. As I said, I mistook her interest. I tried to explain, and after all was said an done we became closer. She really liked our talks, and we had the occasion to hug. I thought nothing of it, however she was quite taken aback and wanted more.

Having only been with men, I was a bit uncomfortable, however for the sake of the relationship I felt obliged to accommodate her physical needs.


This statement bothers me, straight or gay. If you were already in a relationship with someone - why accomodate another person's "physical needs". That sounds like cheating to me.

Jan, I think people are just starting to realize (and accept) that homosexuality is not a choice or decision - but the way a person is. I still hear the occasional "he turned gay", implying that the person used to be hetero and made "the switch" as opposed to admitting their true feelings. So this may be why the question comes up. I also wonder if maybe you get this question from someone who is fighting with their own sexuality - and hoping that you will give them an all encompassing answer.

Like "When you are gay, you will like..." and so they have this little checklist they can put themselves up against to see if they are gay or not - rather than looking at inner feelings.

I have made a lot of changes in my opinions over the last few years about homosexuality. I was brought up down here in the bible belt, where being gay is a sin (at least in the Baptist church). Yet I've had gay friends all my life - although many of them did not come out of the closet until after high school (which was the norm 20 years ago - being gay in Georgia was not accepted!) So I never had a problem with the individuals, I just struggled with whether homosexuality was a sin.

Yet the more I look, the more I see that love is love - and what does it matter who it is between. I was just informed by 2 different friends this week that they are getting divorced. So love is a dying commodity in this world. It should not be turned down or looked down on because it doesn't "fit".

Of course, I realize I'm preaching to the choir here. grin

Let me add to this thought: What if there is no such thing as homo/heterosexuality? What if it is like in (I believe) ancient greek mythology that we all have a soulmate out there - another piece of ourselves. Then we just need to worry about finding that person - and nobody needs to get stuck on what gender someone is. You just fall in love with a person because you love who they are, not what they are.

Then we can get rid of all these labels altogether.

Last edited by BellaHarmony; 01/17/08 12:33 AM.

Michelle Taylor
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Originally Posted By: BellaHarmony
Originally Posted By: strange1
I mistook her intentions and found out she was interested in me on a physical level. i explained I was gay, and that while I was flattered, I was in a relationship. She was so despondent and felt betrayed. As I said, I mistook her interest. I tried to explain, and after all was said an done we became closer. She really liked our talks, and we had the occasion to hug. I thought nothing of it, however she was quite taken aback and wanted more.

Having only been with men, I was a bit uncomfortable, however for the sake of the relationship I felt obliged to accommodate her physical needs.


This statement bothers me, straight or gay. If you were already in a relationship with someone - why accomodate another person's "physical needs". That sounds like cheating to me.(It is and it�s taking a toll on my soul, as well as my relationship. Guess my curiosity got the better of me, now having serious regrets.)

Jan, I think people are just starting to realize (and accept) that homosexuality is not a choice or decision - but the way a person is. I still hear the occasional "he turned gay", implying that the person used to be hetero and made "the switch" as opposed to admitting their true feelings. So this may be why the question comes up. I also wonder if maybe you get this question from someone who is fighting with their own sexuality - and hoping that you will give them an all encompassing answer.

Like "When you are gay, you will like..." and so they have this little checklist they can put themselves up against to see if they are gay or not - rather than looking at inner feelings.(What I have encountered is, �well if you just think more about being straight�, or �you don�t know what your missing�. Rather than just accept a difference of life.)

I have made a lot of changes in my opinions over the last few years about homosexuality. I was brought up down here in the bible belt, where being gay is a sin (at least in the Baptist church). Yet I've had gay friends all my life - although many of them did not come out of the closet until after high school (which was the norm 20 years ago - being gay in Georgia was not accepted!) So I never had a problem with the individuals, I just struggled with whether homosexuality was a sin.

Yet the more I look, the more I see that love is love - and what does it matter who it is between. I was just informed by 2 different friends this week that they are getting divorced. So love is a dying commodity in this world. It should not be turned down or looked down on because it doesn't "fit".

Of course, I realize I'm preaching to the choir here. grin

Let me add to this thought: What if there is no such thing as homo/heterosexuality? What if it is like in (I believe) ancient greek mythology that we all have a soulmate out there - another piece of ourselves. Then we just need to worry about finding that person - and nobody needs to get stuck on what gender someone is. You just fall in love with a person because you love who they are, not what they are.

Then we can get rid of all these labels altogether.
(now your talking!)


lead me not into temptation...I find it fine on my own.
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Originally Posted By: Harmony
[quote=strange1]Let me add to this thought: What if there is no such thing as homo/heterosexuality? What if it is like in (I believe) ancient greek mythology that we all have a soulmate out there - another piece of ourselves. Then we just need to worry about finding that person - and nobody needs to get stuck on what gender someone is. You just fall in love with a person because you love who they are, not what they are.



I totally agree with this. I don't love my wife because she is female. I love her because of who she is, her sense of humor, her quirky little ways, her smile, her joy. The fact that she's female is just an added bonus. laugh


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If homosexuals can't reproduce how come there is so many of us?
lol
just heard that joke on the gay logo station on t.v


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Quote:


Ya, Rosie!!! I'm with you on that.


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Amen to pondlady. There is no vast difference, aside from perhaps the number of negative comments we get in relationship to our selected partners.


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Hey Mindy where have you been? miss your posting. hope you have been ok


Rosie L
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