Annabellee,
I am sorry for your loss, and for all that have lossed a loved one from suicide.
Each loss is different, each is grieved differently. Suicide is one that did not have to happen. It is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.
We don't ever get over our loss, we finally accept it, only then are we able to move on. The primary loss is death. The secondary loss is all that could have been. The birthdays, holidays, phone calls, special times togther, and especially the love lossed. There is a tremendous amount of growth through pain. Sometimes we just don't realize the path until we are on it. It is a journey.