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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 211
Shark
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Shark
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 211
Sometimes I feel like people just feel like eventually, you'll change your mind and become a parent just like they did. They truly don't get that you might actually have the same level of conviction behind your CF stance as they did with their desire to have children.

My husband and I have been going back and forth on this lately, and it's really stressing me out any time it comes up, though I really do feel about 99% sure that I never want to have kids. I have thought that maybe it's the desire to never be pregnant (none of that appeals to me - it never has - even when I was a kid, I couldn't see myself being pregnant and happy about it), but I also think that I simply enjoy coming home to a quiet (most of the time), somewhat orderly house with 6 beautiful cats and a husband. Peace, time to enjoy our TV shows, workout, eat when we feel like it, go out and run errands/eat when we feel like it, travel, etc. - all are big pluses....

Plus, though I'm 28 and the so-called clock is ticking, there is always the choice to adopt a baby, should I really change my mind. I feel like that might be one of the most unselfish things we could do - provide a loving home to a child who might not have it otherwise, who is already born to less than stellar circumstances...

I think that my husband doesn't see the big picture, and not to bash men, that seems to be pretty common for a lot of males. I tried to tell him tonight again that I will more than likely not change my mind, and I still don't think he quite understands how serious I feel at this point. He's told me he loves me for me and whatever I decide is fine, but I still don't like for us to differ here.

There's also the fact that almost all of our close friends have started having kids. We already are all spread out from where we used to live, so distance is always a factor - now, there is the whole wall that seems to go up once the couples previously without children start having them. I have a really good friend from college - she actually married my husband's cousin after they met through us - we were in their wedding - she said that just because they were having kids, it wouldn't change anything. That is really not true - we hardly ever hear from them anymore, and though we're all busy with work, etc., I still enjoy talking/e-mailing friends and catching up on the weekends. There is something that changes - not for all couples who have kids, but definitely for a lot of them. News that another one of our friends is unexpectedly pregnant made me a little sad - I mean, she will probably keep in touch as best as she can, but I know she will be very busy once she and her husband have that baby...the end of an era.

Sorry to go on so long....just had to vent to someone. I need for us to meet more couples like us in our area who are CF and desire to remain that way, but it's just hard to meet people sometimes, outside of work, etc.

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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 570
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 570
Originally Posted By: LSUTiger00
Sorry to go on so long....just had to vent to someone. I need for us to meet more couples like us in our area who are CF and desire to remain that way, but it's just hard to meet people sometimes, outside of work, etc.


Hey Tiger,

Here's a list of 28 other singles and couples who are interested in a childfree meetup in St. Louis! All that's needed is for somebody to step up to the plate and become an organizer (which is dirt simple and doesn't take hardly any time at all).

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Last edited by bonsai; 06/01/07 11:38 PM.


Meet CF couples and singles in your city!

Browse a list of CF Meetups on Meetup.com:

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 275
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 275
I highly recommend joining or forming a childfree group. We have one in our area and my husband and I cannot remember having so much fun. All of the people we have met have been awesome. All very different and really interesting. Our group has quite a broad age range and is pretty active--usually two get togethers each month.

It has really helped me to meet others with similar feelings. I was having the same issue with friends. I was feeling like there was no one like me or that got me out there. No longer smile

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