BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids if we don't have kids who's gonna take care of us?

I know this sounds awful but when I can no longer care for myself I plan to end my own life. I will not rely on anyone for my care,I think that is a horrible way to live and believe that once I get to a quality of life that is no longer enjoyable it will be time to pull the plug.I used to worry about who would take care of me when I am older but since I made this choice it is no longer an issue

Believe it or not, I have heard a lot of people say that they don't want to depend on anyone to take care of them when they get older. Many people don't want to be on life support or any of that stuff. I can't imagine someone having to feed me or clean up after me. I am pretty independent and wouldn't want to live that way. Someone asked me one day what I was planning on doing when I got old and had no children to visit me or take care of me. I just responded that I wouldn't let myself get to that point. I have 3 younger sisters that I am sure would visit me. Not to mention that I will always have pets to keep me company

I have joked around that when I hit a certain age I'm going to try to get a flowerpot dropped on my head. I do agree that I would have a very hard time with someone putting me on the toilet and spoon-feeding me.

I have told my family what I intend to do but they think I am not serious. I am 100 percent serious about it. Hopefully I wont need to do it because I might go fast who knows... Its just nice to know the option will be there.

Geez what a deppressing topic! lol..

This is an issue I have often worried about. But this is certainly not a reason for me to change my mind. I do think options will become more readily available as we age especially in Arizona (big retirement state). So the plan for now is to sock money away, perhaps invest in long term care insurance eventually, and plan to investigate the options as we get older. I think that by planning ahead this is an issue that can be handled and our golden years can be enjoyed!

Hope:

My grandmom actually did this. Both of my grandparents were horrified by the idea of being bedridden or being cared for as seniors.

When my Grandmom had a stroke, and was paralyzed on one side of her body, she basically decided to just fade out. They talked about doing therapy with her, so she could learn to walk again. Who wants to learn to walk again at 75, though? We were being selfish in wanting her to stick around for us, but her life partner had already passed, and it was her time. She lived her life, and got to meet her first great grandchild.

She basically just stopped eating. She didn't like the mush they were trying to feed her, either. She felt it was demeaning.

I can't say that I blame her. She had been fully functional, and didn't want to live under those conditions.

Anything can happen to any of us, though. I think it's crazy to sign up for like 30 years of doing something you don't want to do in the hopes that someone will be there for you IF and WHEN you are ever feeble. And if you don't want to do it, you might not have a good relationship with that hypothetical child, making it less likely that they will be around when you get old.

I say, save lots of money, and you can get the care you need. If your quality of living isn't what you want it to be, we can always let ourselves fade out.

I know, it's morbid, but it is something to think about.

The Buddhist approach focuses on what is going on right now (not in a Hedonistic way though). It's useful to think about the future and plan for it, but all we really have is right now. If we make the right decisions, for us, in each moment, and live consciously, we will be okay.

First off-Having kid is NO guarantee your kids would care for you. If my mom needed that kind of care Id have to put her in a nursing home becuase we do not get along.
Second-While I support peoples decisions to end thier lives I dont think being depended on others has to be a terrible situation. I take care of teens with severe physical, cognitive delays. They need help with feeding, cleaning, toileting and most cant speak. I take pains to treat them with respect and to make their lives as dignified as possible. I really think that everyone in society has to try to make the lives of people with disabilites and special needs as dignified as possible. A disability and being depended on others does not have ot mean the end of your life or any independence IF you get quality care and help. In my opinion people with and without kids would be less concerned abot getting old and needing help if we had a better care system for our disable and elderly citizens

Great topic. I also cringe at the prospect of being dependant on others, my kids or not. I agree that people can't depend on their kids to take care of them. Kids suck retirement/old age funds up so maybe not having kids would be better anyway in regard to having more retirement resources.

I enjoy time alone and figure if I stay as healthy and social as possible I won't be lonely in old(er:) age.

I've gotten this comment quite a bit when I've stated I don't want children - "who will take care of you when you're older"? My answer has always been, I think it's selfish to have a child just to give it the job of taking care of me later in life. It seems wrong to have children just because you want to be taken care of later in life - giving a baby a preassigned job before it's even born is incredibly selfish. That's just my take on this.....

Yes, this is an awfully morbid subject, but it's good to talk about it. I've thought about just ending it too if it gets that bad. I don't see know why I'd stick around. The only thing that worries me is Alzheimer's, which my grandmother had. If it creeps up on me before I have enough nerve to take myself out, that would really suck. So, I do want to plan for this possibility. I even would like to hear ideas if someone knows a painless way to do it. (I should probably research this somewhere else...sorry if I'm freaking anyone out...this is wayyyyy in the future).
I'm pretty wimpy about pain...and not sure if I could pull off the not eating technique. My MIL had Alzheimer's and stopped eating too, but I don't know if that was on purpose or just physical necessity. Also, I want to have a plan in place for someone to come find me, because I don't want to be found a year later rotten in front of the TV. I have a lot of firefighter friends, and have heard some pretty gruesome stories.