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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Chipmunk
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OP
Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344 |
Oooh, this is a good one!
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Save your own life - don't have kids!
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 614
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 614 |
I find this particularly interesting, because studies have shown that fewer couples are having children, and there are now fewer divorces. Is there a connection, do you think? I'm sure it's all tied into happiness and contentment.
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 91
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 91 |
What a fabulous article! Not only does this study validate the choice to be CF, but it also addresses the myth that parenthood is the ultimate joy. I've never understood how having kids went from being an economic advantage (needing kids to help on the farm) to becoming a source of happiness, self-fulfillment, love, status, and occasional fashion accessory. No wonder parents are miserable, with such unrealistic expectations. I love that the article recommends that parents "get a life" and not depend on their children as their only source of happiness. Maybe that's why we CFers are happier. We have lives.
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,438 |
I agree! This is one of the most positive articles I've read about CF. It's getting off the discussion about how the CF are pondering their choices, and whether they'll feel regret, and how the world is different for women and present's all these difficulties and obstacles, and turning it to what is really the issue: this myth that being the ultimate complete, fulfilled, productive adult means having children. This whole SAHM thing is such a backlash against feminist progress. I can see how it might be a good thing for some women, but in the big picture, when you read about these women's lives, it's like they're trying to go back to the 50's. Did they all really have such idealic childhoods that they think women's roles in the 50's were better? Or did they watch too many episodes of Leave it to Beaver and listen to Dr. Laura?
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 235
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 235 |
Excellent article. I thought it was interesting how they pointed out that parents in other countries have HELP raising the kids... in the typical North American household, the vast majority of the work is left to the mom... Sad. Perhaps if they do more studies like this, childed people will stop pushing their lifestyle on us and be more accepting. (I can dream can't I??) :-)
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 138
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 138 |
GREAT ARTICLE! I'm sharing this with lots of my CF pals! Thank you for sharing it with the board.
Jez
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 183
Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 183 |
Oh, this is wonderful!! This is like the 3rd article I have read like this recently. I know, some parents don't want to hear this but I am not quite sure what the harm will be allowing the studies to speak for themselves. And, hearing "but, I wouldn't trade them for the world..." does absolutely nothing for me. What are they supposed to do, the kids are here now so it is not like they really have a choice.
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002
Koala
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Koala
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002 |
It says that in other parts of the world, 90% of childcare is done by other children.
I guess that makes the SAHM "I don't want someone else raising my kids" argument to fly out the window.
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 40
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 40 |
True jmb, in Hispanic culture (my culture), family members take part in child raising. My older brother and I helped take care of my younger brother and sister. I think this was the beginning of being CF for me. I learned early on that changing my sister's diapers was NOT fun, yet as I got older I assumed that my time would eventually come to change my own child's diapers. It was just what Hispanic women did. Yeah, right. Not this one. Thanks Mom, for helping me realize that I don't want to be just like you!
"Plays with dirt"
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002
Koala
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Koala
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002 |
I am the oldest of 6 cousins on my mom's side, and I had to look after all of them at family gatherings. We never had parents playing with us, ever. About the time that a new cousin was able to walk, he/she was thrown together with the others - we had a play room in my grandma's basement, so we weren't even supervised.
I know that if the parents had been around, we wouldn't have had as much fun as we did. :-)
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Avon
by Angie - 05/20/25 08:42 AM
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