BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Thought this was interesting...

I know, right? And do they still like them when they get older, or keep dwelling on their children's glory days.

I like babies, too. They are soft and cuddly. But I am very aware that that stage is very short. And I am more than happy to hold my friends' babies when they are young, and will console them later when their kids are teens. That's what friends are for, right?

I'm more than happy to admire them as a an aunt type figure.

They are starting to celebrate Aunt's on Mother's Day. I actually got a card for my nephew to give my sister (his other aunt) for Mother's Day. She really has been a very maternal figure in his life.

So people are starting to think outside the box a little bit. Maybe it's just a marketing tactic, but it seems to be catching on.

One of my many reasons for CF was that I was always concerned that I'd end up raising the child alone. My father was killed when I was three and my sister's dad was absent. Almost all of the women in my family are single parents (both mom and dad's sides)so this was a real concern of mine. Having been raised fatherless, I just couldn't take the chance for the hypothetical child.

[quote=happytobechildfree]This kind of thinking is what Gloria Steinem is about. She refused to have kids, or to get married, because things were so unfair to women. (She did get married like a year ago or so, which shocked the world. People were saying, does this mean she perceives men and women to be treated equally now. Doubtful.)

On a related note, there's a new book coming out this month, called "Get to Work, and Get a Life Before It's Too Late." This controversial philosopher implores women to consider only having one child so that they won't lose their footing too much in the work world. She basically talks about how brutal childrearing is, and if staying home was so wonderful, men would be clamoring to do it.

I read the first book. "Get a Life" is the sequel. It has created quite a stir, and it's really interesting material.

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Hi Elise,

Maybe that was just my interpretation of Steinem. After reading any piece of feminist literature, my conclusion has always been "I'm not having kids," but that's probably me

But I think nonmarriage and nonparent are linked. If she thought marriage was unfair, I've got to think she didn't think the roles associated with parenting were fair either. In my mind, there is a lot more mindless housework to do when the kids come along.

It's been a while since I read the Feminine Mystique, but one of my key takeaways was that the role of wife and mother was unfair, unstimulating and excruciatingly boring. Ironically, Friedan had children. Steinem did not.

I have to think if the book was written today, CF would be presented as an option. True, they wanted change for the role of wife and mother. But I have to think that given the ways things still are today, it wouldn't be a stretch for them to support the CF lifestyle as well. If change is that slow, then why put yourself in a bad situation and swim against the storm.

This is one of the things I remember from my early childhood, before my dad left for the last time. If the windows needed cleaning or the storms needed to be taken down and the screens put up, he'd say "We need to clean the windows for mommy". Not "We need to clean the windows because it needs doing".

Stuck with me, it did. This kind of passive-aggressive comment made him come out The Hero and my mom appear to be The Heavy. My only regret is that rather than divorcing in 1968, when they separated for the first time (I was 2 then), they dragged it out another 10 years --- almost all of it separated, firing warning shots across eachother's bows in what was to become one of the most acrimonious, childish divorces ever.