BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Have a look at this!

Yaaaayyyy!!!!!

It's ridiculous that people would say she doesn't understand family dynamics because she's chosen not to have children. I bet she grew up in a family! I bet everyone else she's ever known has grown up in a family as well!

I can understand that a person would make a comment like that. My husband, whose parents are still together, used to tell me that I don't know how to be in a marriage because my parents are divorced. He honestly thought that I could only understand what I physically grew up with.

I've heard there is a higher rate of divorce for people who come from divorced parents. I'm from divorced parents too, so I've wondered about it. It's true I don't really have 18 years of observing a good marriage in action to emulate with my own marriage. But in another way it's made me really determined to make mine work.

A friend once told me when we were in our early 20's that she met a guy at a party and they were talking. He asked her if her parents were divorced, and when she told him yes, he said he wouldn't be interested in dating her then. He explained that he was dating to find someone to marry, and didn't want to even consider marrying someone who was statistically more likely to get divorced. Nice, eh?

My dad's been divorced twice, and I have to say, I agree about how divorced children are more likely to be divorced. I don't ever want to get divorced from my husband, but I could see how the choice to get divorced would be easier for some.

However, that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be married, or how a marriage works. Just because I'm CF, that doesn't mean that I don't know how family dynamics work, or how children should be disciplined, etc.

It's all about experience, and if someone has never, ever been around children and suddenly becomes a parent, they don't suddenly have a light turned on and magically understand how to have children.

Well, that will rule out 50% of the female population, then. Good luck to him...

I'm of the opinion that divorce isn't necessarily too common...marriage is. My first marriage, at 24, was completely ill-advised (he was a nice guy, but an alcoholic. I thought he would change. How quaint).

There's tons of pressure on people to get married. It's lessening a little of late, but overall, the world is full of women who say "my game plan is to be married by 26, first kid by 30, etc."). Sure, some of them really want all that, but I'd wager that for many more of them, it's the Life Script(TM).

Perhaps the rise of childfree living as a concept will lessen divorce rates. Don't get married because you feel you must have a child (have a child only if you desperately want to raise one --- and for no other reason!). Get married because you've found the right person, even if it takes you until you're 50 to find him. Life is too short to "settle"!

The results are in and can you believe 40 percent of people think she cant lead because she does not have kids?
Theres something very wrong with this.