BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Dining Room Diaper Changes are a *Problem*?

Here's a story about another entitlement-mom who thinks the restaurant staff should clean up her kid's puke:

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Oh jeez. I can understand if they didn't give her the tools to clean it like some spray cleaner and towels but come on! If my kids even spill some food or water, I try to clean it myself. Some people should just be allowed to procreate (this coming from someone who has 2 kids of her own.)

i was getting grossed out just reading about that diaper change! i agree that it is highly unsanitary and just plain ridiculous!i'm glad that parents have also responded to this saying that this mother was way wrong. i would have freaked if i was out and i saw that.i swear i would have lost my appetite!

indigo

Hmmm, I don't know about this one. Changing a diaper, or cleaning your nose, or hacking up phlegm, all seem inexcusable in a public restaurant. (And to be honest, although I've never seen a parent change a diaper in a restaurant, I've seen plenty of adults pick their noses there.) I agree with you entirely on that. On the other hand, I'm not sure I agree that patrons of any age should be expected to clean up after themselves in a restaurant, however. Why should children be treated any differently than adults? If an adult patron in a restaurant got sick and threw up, would the management there ask his/her spouse to clean it up? I somehow doubt it. I imagine that management would have rushed out a cleanup crew as fast as they could. Shouldn't the same standards apply for children as well?

I think (and hope) that most parents would probably offer to help clean up their child's mess anyway (after making sure the child was ok first) in most public places or in other people's homes, but it does seem a tad rude to just hand over a mop and cleaning bucket and expect the customer to do all the cleaning him/herself. I can actually see why the Mom in this case, who was probably already embarrassed as it was, might have been shocked. And notice that she did clean up the mess herself upon request.

I think it partly depends upon whether the mess made could have been helped or not. For example, if you knock over a bushel of apples while in the grocery store because you weren't looking where you were going, then you probably need to at least try to help pick them up. On the other hand, if a wheel came off of a shopping cart you were driving and bashed into the bushel, it's hardly your fault. I can't imagine anyone expecting you to clean up the mess you made in that case. Likewise, if someone chokes on food in a restaurant and vomits it up, I would think that the restaurant would at the very least try to be cordial about it and not expect the person to clean up his mess. Babies are a little more prone to spit up or throw up than adults are, but is there any reason to treat them and their parents with any less respect than we grant to adults?

You don't see people cleaning up the mess they make simply by eating do you? Does anyone in a restaurant do their own dishes? If you spill tomato sauce on the table cloth, are you expected to launder it or pay for the cost to have it cleaned? If you accidentally drop your drink, spilling liquid everywhere and breaking the glass, are you expected to fetch the mop and broom and clean it up? No. Of course, most people will hopefully try to scoop up the broken shards lying on the table and mop up the spill with a few napkins, but beyond that, no one would be expected to clean up the mess, even if it was your own fault.

It's bad manners and bad business to expect clientele to mop up their own (or their children's or spouse's) mess and wash their dishes, just as it's bad manners to ask a lunch guest in your home to do the same. Now if they offer to help, all the better, although you'd hardly hand them the mop and walk away. And if they make a mess and then immediately start demanding that someone clean it up pronto, then that is rude. But expecting that the staff of a restaurant are responsible for cleaning up spills isn't rude unless you intentionally made a huge mess purely for your own amusement or just to be a pest. Then it's a different story.

That is a good point Alicia.

My response came from feeling like that is a lot to ask of a restaurant staff, because a baby's vomit is probably more repulsive to them (and anyone else) than to it's mother. I'm sure this is different for everyone, but I have heard mothers claim that they get accustomed to their own baby's bodily fluids since they deal with them all the time, and love their babies so much.

It's true though that a baby should not be treated worse than an adult, and the staff probably would clean up after an adult more readily. It seems like it would be pretty rare, and possibly due to a reaction to the restaurant's food, if an adult suddenly puked. Or if they choked it would be a medical emergency, which should be handled differently. With a baby it's par for the course for them to vomit, so its different to expect other people to clean it up. Babies are legendary for not fitting in well in restaurant environments, and we all see how often they need to be taken outside because they're creating a ruckous, so if one decides to take them to one, it seems like it's more courteous for that person to take full responsibility for any pandemonium the baby causes. Cleaning up a spill is different thing, because it's not going to affect the health of the person in contact with it, who is then also in contact with other people's food. In my experience it's pretty normal for people to clean up their own spills anyway, and often are just brought towels or napkins by the staff, who then usually pitches in.

I remember going to a new dentist when I was very young, and they were giving me flouride treatments. I absolutely hated those, and put up a huge fight every time. The dental hygienist told me "If you throw up, you're cleaning it up." I was so shocked I've never forgotten it.

That is truly disgusting, and so depressing that people have no clue. Fortunately I've never witnessed a diaper change in a restaurant (at least not yet), but I have seen it done on airplanes twice. Once I saw a guy change his baby's diaper right on the seat. Another time I saw a woman change a diaper on top of two tray tables - i.e. the little fold-out tables used for eating! In both instances the airplane bathrooms were equipped with changing tables. Nobody said a word. Perhaps they were stunned. Perhaps we need "no diaper changing at the table" signs to remind people of the obvious.

To be fair, I don't thing this isn't an "entitlement-mom" issue, but rather a general societal entitlement problem. So many people these days seem to feel entitled to do whatever they like - no regard for other people, no regard for the planet. I just think we become more aware of these entitlement types once they become parents. No doubt the woman in Park Slope was equally as thoughtless before she had a baby, it's just that with a baby she stands out more.

That is amazing and disgusting. There is NO reason to change a diaper in a public eating area. Period. If this person wants to change diapers on her own dining room table, fine. I'm afraid I would get confrontational in a situation like that.

As for the baby barf, both posts have valid points. Although the restaurant shouldn't force the client to clean it up, I would expect most parents to take the initiative considering how often babies vomit.

That's an excellent point and I think you may be right. A lot of people seem to forget that others exist, much less that their needs/preferences/whatever should be considered. It's a larger societal problem than just entitlemoms, but small kids seem to make it more visible.

If I seem unusually bitter today, it's because I've been traveling. Something about airports and travel seems to being out the worst in a lot of people!

I agree -- some of the worst offenders I've seen were spoiled BRATS themselves first, having a baby just emphasized it. The worst part is, they are teaching that behavior to their kids, who will just perpetuate their sense of entitlement.