BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Childfree Women

Okay, I am 5'5" and 152. Trying very hard to get back to 145 (135 would be ideal.) I work out 1 hour- 1 1/2 hours every day and don't even eat any McDonald's or anything bad like that. I just had chips for the first time in months. And I refuse to believe that it's the chocolate I have every day.

I have come to the conclusion that my body is trying to tell me to have kids, even though my brain says NO. I can't think of any other reason the weight won't come off.

Also, lucky for me, I have childbearing hips.

I actually yelled at my body the other day for being "pregnant-ready" when I never want kids. It was quite amusing, because I don't think that works.

It's really reassuring to read that other women have similar thoughts and feelings about this topic. I've always felt so out of place and thought it was just me.

I was just thinking about this yesterday. My husband's on a snowboard / ski trip with a friend and mentioned he'd like to see me take my own vacation with a friend. Problem is, I'm not close enough to any of my female friends for this to be an attractive idea


I know what you mean bassgrrl. My husband encourages me to take trips with girlfriends. It is okay if it is just me and one other person and it is short. More than a few days and i want to go off by myself!

Elise, I really admire the confidence you had as a child. It was only when I went off to college that I could appreciate being me!

I wonder, FiddleDeeDee, if it is because we don't NEED to be friends with someone-and probably act like it. I am not sure how to explain it, but I notice that some of the girls at work will say, "hey lets go to lunch" and they are always available. If anyone invites them to do anything they are cool with that, no matter what it is. Like you mention in another post, I am fine going out on my own. Movies, dinner, etc. I guess what I am trying to say is that some people jump at the chance to hang out--I am not one of them. I enjoy doing my own thing. I could see this being a turn off to someone-particularly if you have a fear of rejection. It could appear i am rejecting a friendship "advance" when really, I just wan to go running on my lunch hour!

That is how I feel too Karenb. I like myself. I am happy with me. And people certainly have the right to not like me...there are people that are not my favorite either!!

Those buy something parties drive me crazy. They seem to go in spurts. Everyone was in a pampered chef phase for awhile...and I don't cook!! Then there were purse parties....food parties....Uggg. Your comments actually reminded me that I had an invitation in my inbox I forgot to respond to.

Karenb and Jez, your comments about having a more conventional appearance made me think that I likely get less flak about having kids because my husband and I don't look conventional. I think that people look at us and expect us to operate outside of societal norms...we are probably what your assistant, Jez, envisions when she thinks of the childfree!!

I am so happy to be able to relate to everyone! You can probably tell by my abundance of posts. This is just not a typical experience for me so I am excited.

Frieda, where are you in California? I lived in LA for awhile, but did not have much success making friends with women. They wanted to take me shopping and dress me up, and show me how to use makeup. I felt like a novelty...I was their friend who wore no makeup and did not know who Louis Vuitton was. I have always thought Northern California would be a great place to live. LA is just bizarre.

FiddleDeeDee, I have had similar experiences with women. I most recently worked at a job where I my boss had a lot of issues with men and with her weight. She would bond with co-workers of mine who had issues with men and who would go on whatever new diet she was into. She also was an alcoholic so if you wanted to be promoted you had to go out drinking with her. It was very bizarre. She wanted nothing to do with me and everyone else got promoted ahead of me. I felt like I did not party hard enough and was paying for being in a stable relationship!

Hi Chaco,
I'm in Northern CA, and it's much better. There's still some pressure, but it's not anywhere near as bad. I was ecstatic when I moved here and discovered how different it is. There are lots of us "boy-girls" as my husband calls us, and love it. I grew up in So. Cal, and was not a happy camper. My family all still lives down there, and when I visit I constantly get rided for not wearing enough makeup, not dying my hair, having hair that's too long, or too short, or too messy, not waxing enough hair off my body, having too white of legs at certain times of year, having too small of boobs, even having clothes that are too wrinkled. I've heard it all. There's no way to please them. Consequently, I hate going down there. Ug. LA sucks!

In my senior year, the Art Mafia crowd I mentioned before had a few parties. My mom was gone for a weekend, and we had a dinner party at my house. A DINNER PARTY. We all cooked for each other, made a mess in the kitchen, set a beautiful table, and had a great evening of music and conversation. Yes, there was some wine. No, nobody was legal. But nobody got drunk...just a bit buzzed. Damn, it was fun! We all slept in a big pile on the living room floor and a couple of established couples went off and canoodled down the hall. Talk about doing the main "job" of the adolescent: pushing some boundaries, differentiating from one's parents, and managing not to get killed in the process...

After a miserable set of school years with too many bullies and too many moves, things really did end up well, I've got to say.

Frieda, I can only imagine how it was growing up in SoCal. It was bad enough living in LA as an adult. Your high school experience was probably like mine....times 100!!