BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse I was molested at 13 (my story)

yes it does, thank you for your advise.

Hi Bumblebee
I haven't been in such situation before but think you have suffered bad condition indeed. You got good advice. I think your parents on that time and also right now are responsible about you, maybe its better they become conscious about their responsibility.
Haven't you any organization for help in this case for example a department in security and police official?
Hope you find a way to reach to happiness and won't encounter with more harm.


Skyheaven
I'm glad to meet you; you are brave and strength person. You have been suffered very bad condition that could devastate any body but as I see you could able to past such harmful situation.
Best regards

My Mom and I did not go to the authorities. I believe that we should have, but for some reason I truly believe that my uncle is the kind of person that would not go after other girls. But for some reason he went after me. I do not worry if he is still molesting girls, and from what I know, I am the only one. He is a older man around 70 or 80, and he is now in a wheelchair. I just prey that he still isn't. I don't know, I guess I'm just confused. I thought of my Uncle as a caring and thoughtful person. Now whenever I think of him, I think of what happened, and think of him as a whole other person. I feel that when I think of him like that, it feels that I haven't forgiven him, but in side I have. Does anyone understand how I feel?

Hi,

I do understand how you feel and I think it is very normal. I sometimes have flashbacks of abuse that happened to me in my life and it brings up emotions like anger and confusion. Along with the emotions, I can feel as though I haven't forgiven, as well. But, I think what is important is that we allow ourselves to feel what we feel without having any feelings of guilt or shame. It's okay to feel how you feel when thinking of your uncle and what he did. As I said before, I think it is very normal. The important thing is that in your processing you go at your own pace and do what feels best for you in your healing.

Take gentle care,
Kelli

I really appriciate what everyone has said and the advise you have given me. This is the first time that I have told anyone publically about what happened to me, even though I haven't gone into full detail. You don't hear a lot of people talk about Sexual Molestation, or at least I don't, because it is a very sensite subject. People don't want to believe that it exists, but in reality it does. It is nice to know that there are people out there who are willing to tell their story, and so others could be helped, and realize that they are not alone, and they are there to help them. That's why I really like this site.

I'm so glad that you feel safe enough to share what you are comfortable with sharing here on the forum. I know that there are many supportive people here at Bella Online, as you have witnessed. And you are right in that many people don't want to acknowledge that it exists when it does. Hang in there, walk through your journey to healing at your own pace, and be gentle with yourself.

hi i definitly know what you went through except the difference for me was i was molested by 4 different men,people who were supposed to take car of me they were my babysitters see my mom left me with men baby sitters alot when i was growing up and all this started when i was 4 yrs old and didnt stop til i was about 8 yrs old and it took me awhile to get over only because my mom didnt believe me but finally she got a clue when i was being watched by my aunt who saw the sighns and had my mom take me to the doctors and they found the evidence that i was being molested and finally she belived me but i kept my chin up and i now have a little girl and i will never make the mistakes my mom made and it hard sometimes to leave any of my children with babysitters but its getting alittle easier but i am here to tell you girl we are survivers and that makes us strong so girl keep going on and you will succeed i promise you,you will succeed

Thanks for sharing that. I am so sorry that, that happened to you. I am so happy though, that you have made big decisions for your your daughters life, so that what happened to you will never happen to her. A person told me that we don't get to choose what trials come into our life but we do get to choose how much it is going to affect and change our us. Like everyone else has been saying, that "its not going to be easy", but it is nice to know that there are people in this world who have been through what you have been through, and have the courage to share their story, and through that help people. I have made a recent decision, and that is that I am not going to confront my uncle. I don't know how many of you are Christians, but after I heard a message in church yesterday, I made the decision that I am going to let God deal with him when that time comes, and not confront him. I truly believe that it doesn't matter what a person goes through in their life. If you really work on it and put your mind to it, you can get through that trial, and live a normal life again. You have to think more of the good things that you have in your life rather than the bad things.

My cousin who is now 17 years old, did not have the greatest life growing up. When she was about five or six years old her birth father was hit by a drunk driver and died instantly. After a couple of years, her mom remarried and they had 2 more children. Soon after that, her second father died of an overdose from drugs. Her mother even after that got remarried. Her parents soon got into a big arguement and divorced. When that happened, they went to court to fight over who was going to get the kids, and the mother ended up winning. But her father was not happy with that and kiddnapped the children. He abused them until one day, when poice finally found them and returned them to their mother. A couple years later, for some stupid reason, he was released from prison. For years they have been having to move from state to state living in shelters because the father was out to kill them and still is to this day. They have lived in almost every state at least once. During all of this she was diagnosed with cancer at the age eight. Today she is lucky to be able to live an a state for about five years now. The only thing that she believes helps her go on with her life is her faith in God. Surprizingly, if you met her, you would never realize that she has gone through what she has, which makes me have an even stronger faith in God.

-Laura-

You may have forgiven him. But confront him in front of many people and let me pay for his sins.

I want to commend each of you for sharing your stories. It is not easy to open up and share. However, I believe that healing begins when we commit to sharing our secrets and healing through it all. Each of you describes a horrific story of abuse, yet you also share positive jewels that you have gathered, such as the decision to never allow your children to go through what you have endured, having the courage to break the cycle of abuse, and the journey taken to achieve healing. Each of you is a person of value and worth.