What excellent questions, Clemence. I applaud you for your deep thinking and your desire to make the best choices possible now.
There is a guy who is somewhat famous for his thoughts about human relationships. His name is Albert Ellis. He's still living, but now quite old. His most famous quote is: "It is what it is."
It seemed like a funny quote the first time I heard it, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see how it applied to so many things.
But before I go on, when you read, "It is what it is," and then think of your own situation, what thoughts come to mind?
Warmly,
C.S. Bezas