BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image do you have a poor body image?

I'm still unhappy with my body, even afer losing alsmot 100 lbs due to a gastric bypass (I still have 40-50 to go for "target" weight).

But now instead of obsessing over how fat I am in general- I pick apart pieces of my body: my upper arms have so much extra skin left hanging, also my belly, my thighs should be tighter, etc,etc. Oh and not to forget- I hate my nose, whether people agree with me or not.

So now I'm just a whole big bundle of things needing to be fixed as opposed to just needing to lose weight! AAAAUUUUGGHH! <img src="/images/graemlins/wall.gif" alt="" />

All of me, i can find fault with every inch of me, i just don't like myself ;o(

I think thinking bad thoughts about ourselves becomes a habit. If that's true, then thinking positive thoughts can become a habit, too.

Focusing on my other goals - not related to my appearance - has been the best thing for my body image! I don't care about my varicose veins or generous bottom anymore, because I want to see my dreams come true while I'm still alive! That's taking all my energy and time....

How has anyone else resolved their body image issues --- and, any advice for Rosie??

It's interesting and I totally agree when you say "I think thinking bad thoughts about ourselves becomes a habit. If that's true, then thinking positive thoughts can become a habit, too."

This doesn't really have to do with body image, but it goes along with how thinking can become a habit, in a positive or negative way. I had the hardest time quitting smoking.. I'd last what, maybe a week and be back at it again. Well the last time I truly attempted to quit had, I got to a year smoke free (and then I started again BAD ME! I know I know.. ) but the way that I made it a whole year, was because I wrote little notes around my house that I go to often. Bathroom mirror, fridge, front door, alarm clock etc. And the notes said things such as "I don't want to smoke" "I want to be healthier" "I don't need cigarettes" "I feel more energized without smoking" etc etc... and every time I came across a note through out the day I would have to read it out loud 3 times. And I gotta tell you, after a few days to a week of this, it really made a difference. It got me from 3 days of not smoking to a whole year! I changed the way I was thinking. So we can all do this with our body image, self esteem, confidence, anything really. Choose to change your negative thoughts to positive ones. (even if you don't believe them right away, after telling yourself over and over and over and over again, YOU WILL BELIEVE IT.) Those first days of telling myself that "I don't want to smoke" - ya right! I didn't believe it, but I kept telling myself, and 3 weeks later when I was around people smoking, I was offered a smoke, and I turned to them and said "no thanks, I don't want to smoke" and by that point I meant it. And whenever it began to get difficult again I brought out my little sticky notes and put them up on my fridge and mirrors for a couple days.

I know it sounds kinda silly, but it really is a matter of changing your thought process. We all have trained our thoughts to think negative things, so why can't we re-train them with positive ones?!

I can't talk because what I say contradicts every other post I write.

When I start to think that I am doing well and starting to accept my body as it is, something happens and I realise that I can't accept it and I sink back into my old behaviours.

Smoking was never a problem for me, but I have a weight loss addiction which I fear I will always have. I am terrified to gain weight.

There was this girl on Dr Phil yesterday who's engaged, but her fiance has refused to marry her unless she deals with her body image problems. She was down to 77 lbs, and now weighs 100. She hates being that heavy, and asks him repeatedly if she looks fat or ugly. He can't take it anymore, and worries about their relationship and future children.

What got me was her eyes. She looked so sad. Her eyes were dead. Her face and voice were animated, but her eyes were flat. It breaks my heart to think how sad she was, how trapped in self-loathing and fear. She said it: she hates herself.

Dr Phil told her to get back to counseling, because she's still right in the middle of her eating disorder and can't think clearly. Sometimes our addictions are stronger than our ability to simply change our thoughts from negative to positive. Sometimes we need help!

I hope this girl gets the help she needs, so she can have a healthy, loving, clear-headed relationship with herself. Then, she'll be ready for marriage and kids.

Hi Laurie,

I too struggled with weight the last 30 years, but am finally on my way to a peaceful, stressfree weightloss - yeh!! I am down 35 pounds and counting.

Motivation? I agree with your comment about varying activities. If you don't keep it fun, you won't stick to it. I find rotating what I do makes it fun. I walk some days, ride my bike others, and then on other days I workout with my exercise balls. In warmer weather I incorporate swimmming too!

Sandy
www.weightlossgodsway-faith.com