BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids The "Experience of Being Pregnant"

Perhaps the women who want to be pregnant "for the experience" should consider hiring out as surrogate mothers.

Absolutely...

Travel, trying out a new idea for a small business, doing adventure sports like bunjee jumping, or taking up yoga --- these are things you do "for the experience".

A woman who would want to get pregnant "for the experience" is probably the type who talks about "having a baby" instead of "becoming a parent" or "having a child". No forethought, no big-picture thinking. She is thinking about her own fulfillment, not about the fact that what she's considering involves an innocent third party with no say in the matter.

And they call *us* selfish? <img src="/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

Elise

PS, if she really wanted "the experience", perhaps she could be a surrogate for an infertile couple. That way she could get her experience plus a pile of filthy lucre for her trouble...and the restulting child would go to a couple who (hopefully) had thought it through a bit more thoroughly...

First of all, I have honestly never come across any woman who has declared that she became pregnant for the experience... Could this be a cultural thing? or have I just missed the elite crowd - !?

Secondly, I think it a tragedy for you that you had three abortions, because there is much available to prevent such distress.... Please don't misunderstand me, I am not intending to come across as judgemental or critical. It's a pure statement of fact. If the thought of bearing a child is such an abhorrence, then to have been pregnant three times is mind-boggling....
perhaps you are just extraordinarily fertile.... a friend of mine is, but she is unable to carry to term and though she managed one baby, she has now lost seven.....It's heartbreaking for her.

I fully support and respect a woman's 'Right To Choose' - but as a whole, in general, I am anti-abortion....
But I am equally against unsuitable mothers, like teenagers who wilfully become pregnant to get on to the housing list, or gain fiancial benefit which they then use to fund drugs....
And there are so many desperate barren women who would dearly love a child.....and so many young orphans globally, desperate for the feel of loving parental arms around them.....

It's so screwed up......

i've been pregnant twice, possibly three times (refused to take a pregnancy test because i knew it would end in heartbreak). all ended in very early miscarriages. but i remember what i felt the whole time. even though i had nausea, vomiting, sore breasts, bloating, dizziness, i loved it. i'd give anything to have it again and carry those babies to term and raise them in a happy home.

however, it's not meant to happen.

i think becoming pregnant just to experience it is pretty odd. i wonder if they're just looking for reasons. why not the reason to raise a child?

People also tend to forget that pregnancy can KILL you. It is dangerous. Most pregancies (at least in this country, the US, with available medical care) end safely and successfully. But there are still those that do not. A friend of a friend of mine had late-pregancy preeclampsia, it killed her and the baby. A daughter of a friend of mine lost her baby a few weeks before due date due to a ruptured placenta. Luckily it did not kill her, but it was a tragedy. So pregnancy is still not something to be entered into lightly, it does carry risks.

Cindy

THANK you! That has been my reasoning all along!

Sadly, people sometimes do not use this reasoning when they decide to experience something.

We all take the risk of death when we do common things -- driving, riding an airplane, swimming, smoking, drinking, eating rich food. People in general seem to side with wishful thinking and optimism, not caution, when it comes to new experiences.

I tend to side with caution, but I am not a very good representative of "people in general."

I like the Bagua symbol - Kun-Xun.... Complete Yin Earth and Fortunate Blessings.... Dandy!

When my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and also some book by Naomi Wolf about being pregnant in America and all the things no one tells you about...and the two combined pretty much scared the bejesus out of me.

I occasionally thought some things, like feeling the baby kick, might be kind of neat, but on balance pregnancy didn't sound all that great. And of course I was always thinking ahead to after the baby was born and all the drudgery involved with actual child rearing.

And even if someone does enjoy the experience of being pregnant, it's temporary and then you're stuck with the kid. Seems to me that there are other "experiences" you can have that aren't quite so life-consuming!

What was in the Naomi Wolf book? I've heard of it but never read it.

To be honest, I've never thought of being pregnant as a good thing. I just imagine being kicked constantly and backaches from the extra load...and I think, no thanks! I've seen friends go through pregnancy and have never envied him!

Joz:
I looked on Amazon.com and wonder if the book you were talking about by Naomi Wolf is "Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood"
Does this sound familiar?

And on a related note... while I was looking for the Naomi Wolf book, I ran across another:
"The Mask of Motherhood: How Becoming a Mother Changes Our Lives and Why We Never Talk About It" by Susan Maushart
This book "explores the effect childbearing has upon women. In the process, she removes the veils of serenity and satisfaction to reveal what she holds to be the truth: the early years of motherhood are physically difficult and can be emotionally devastating. New mothers increasingly enter full-scale identity crises, few women have sufficient information about child-rearing realities, and, as Maushart writes, "the realities of parenthood and especially motherhood are kept carefully shrouded in silence, misinformation, and outright lies." "
Sounds like an interesting TRUTHFUL book that women thinking of getting pregnant should read