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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 12 |
When I hear that, I automatically think they are selfish, egoistic, and immature. Maybe they should just sign up to be surrogate mothers and they can have THE EXPERIENCE and just keep squeezing those puppies out for people who actually have the desire to be a parent.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 71
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 71 |
Yes, jmb, that's the book--Misconceptions. She talked about how, with her first pregnancy, the doctors and other medical staff weren't very helpful, she was treated kind of like cattle...how, although they had showed her the lovely birthing room when she toured the hospital, she ended up having a complication and they wheeled her, terrified, into an operating room for a C-section...things like that. It was several years ago that I read it, so I'm a little fuzzy on a lot of it. She talked about how women really need to be aggressive in pursuing pregnancy and birth care, because the US medical establishment isn't exactly known for compassion. I think she also talked about the loss of identity, etc, after the birth...
The What to Expect books are very popular, and I'm sure they're well intentioned...but sometimes they're kind of condescending. I got the What to Eat When You're Expecting, and they talk about getting on a good diet BEFORE getting pregnant. Which makes sense of course. So I took their little quiz about my eating habits and the results weren't good. Now, I'm not the greatest about fruits and vegetables but I don't eat much fast food or heavily processed stuff either. This quiz made me feel like I was totally unfit to even ATTEMPT to get pregnant. Plus they advocated baking everything with apple juice instead of sugar and preparing all these special snacks and stuff...which, if you have the time/inclination to do, great, but I sure didn't because I work full time.
The combination of the two books made me feel like a) once I got pregnant, my life was going to be out of my control and in the hands of an uncaring medical establishment, and that b) I was unfit to get pregnant anyway because I didn't eat all my fruits and veggies and cook like an Earth Goddess.
These books weren't the main reason I decided not to have kids, but they sure gave me some additional insight into the "experience" and my own feelings.
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 606
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 606 |
People also tend to forget that pregnancy can KILL you. It is dangerous. Most pregancies (at least in this country, the US, with available medical care) end safely and successfully. But there are still those that do not. A friend of a friend of mine had late-pregancy preeclampsia, it killed her and the baby. A daughter of a friend of mine lost her baby a few weeks before due date due to a ruptured placenta. Luckily it did not kill her, but it was a tragedy. So pregnancy is still not something to be entered into lightly, it does carry risks.
Cindy Many risks. I have still never recovered from my pregnancy and that was over 3 years ago and I was considered in excellent health before. Working out 2-3 hours a day on top of rock climbing and running. I now have heart problems, I am just now able to stand for more then 10 minutes without fainting. I am finally able to walk around the store and I have feeling in my legs all the time now which is nice. Pregnancy is very dangerous! Anyone who just wants to be pregnant for the "experience" doesn't know what they are getting into.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 91
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 91 |
Yes, jmb, that's the book--Misconceptions. She talked about how, with her first pregnancy, the doctors and other medical staff weren't very helpful, she was treated kind of like cattle...how, although they had showed her the lovely birthing room when she toured the hospital, she ended up having a complication and they wheeled her, terrified, into an operating room for a C-section...things like that. It was several years ago that I read it, so I'm a little fuzzy on a lot of it. She talked about how women really need to be aggressive in pursuing pregnancy and birth care, because the US medical establishment isn't exactly known for compassion. I think she also talked about the loss of identity, etc, after the birth...
The What to Expect books are very popular, and I'm sure they're well intentioned...but sometimes they're kind of condescending. I got the What to Eat When You're Expecting, and they talk about getting on a good diet BEFORE getting pregnant. Which makes sense of course. So I took their little quiz about my eating habits and the results weren't good. Now, I'm not the greatest about fruits and vegetables but I don't eat much fast food or heavily processed stuff either. This quiz made me feel like I was totally unfit to even ATTEMPT to get pregnant. Plus they advocated baking everything with apple juice instead of sugar and preparing all these special snacks and stuff...which, if you have the time/inclination to do, great, but I sure didn't because I work full time.
The combination of the two books made me feel like a) once I got pregnant, my life was going to be out of my control and in the hands of an uncaring medical establishment, and that b) I was unfit to get pregnant anyway because I didn't eat all my fruits and veggies and cook like an Earth Goddess.
These books weren't the main reason I decided not to have kids, but they sure gave me some additional insight into the "experience" and my own feelings. I think someone should publish a book called, "What to Expect When You Aren't Expecting." I really would like to read the chapter on sleeping in late on a Sunday morning... and also a chapter on not having a leaky bladder. So many more Chapters could be revealed to the people who are on the fence still...Alot of issues arise when one has a child... This could be a NYTIMES NUMBER ONE BEST SELLER!!
Last edited by Chatterweb; 01/07/07 04:48 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 862
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 862 |
Quote:
"I think someone should publish a book called, "What to Expect When You Aren't Expecting."
I really would like to read the chapter on sleeping in late on a Sunday morning... and also a chapter on not having a leaky bladder.
So many more Chapters could be revealed to the people who are on the fence still...Alot of issues arise when one has a child...
This could be a NYTIMES NUMBER ONE BEST SELLER!!"
Hey, that's a great idea! Let's start working on it! There are lots of great starters on these forums for material to include!
Cindy
Last edited by Cookiecody; 01/09/07 10:46 AM.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 235
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 235 |
Many risks. I have still never recovered from my pregnancy and that was over 3 years ago and I was considered in excellent health before. Working out 2-3 hours a day on top of rock climbing and running. I now have heart problems, I am just now able to stand for more then 10 minutes without fainting. I am finally able to walk around the store and I have feeling in my legs all the time now which is nice.
Wow Samten. You sure have had a rough time! It must be extra difficult for you to adjust after having been so active. I hope that you have a complete recovery. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Perhaps your experience will encourage prospective mothers to think a little more about the potential risks involved in pregnancy Best wishes.
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