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Exactly. I don't get it either. Many kids these days are treated like trophies - you have them so that you can trot them out when you have friends/relatives over. Why bother having them if you are not going to spend the time with them/raising them.
Teachers are NOT parents and should not be used as a parent substitute or an excuse not to do any parenting.

I am young enough that I remember being in daycare when I was a kid. We didn't do it that long...just while mom was substitute teaching and working on her master's degree. It was probably less than a year that we were there...we were in, maybe, 4th or 5th grade? I don't know.

My problem with it is that a lot of the caregivers are so young, overworked and underpaid that they are rather mean and rotten to the kids. Children imitate what grownups do, so if the teenage babysitter is a rotten brat, your kids may do it too. I got annoyed with it all when I was a kid because I KNEW it wasn't right and that other adults, such as my parents, family members, and neighbors, were better examples of adulthood.

Day care is a horrible, toxic environment. After a while, mom put us in a YMCA after-school program instead...I liked that one better. They knew what they were doing (I think they were actual teachers) and we were still at the school for the program so the standard for behavior was higher than at a day care.

I feel the same way. We parent differently than many of the parents we know.

I actually know a mom who went off for a week long vacation and left her INFANT at home. People have very different ideas of parenting. Heck, I haven't even left my 20 month old overnight yet!

I know many parents who think WE'RE the crazy ones for spending so much time with our kids! WHen I worked in daycare, some kids were dropped off as early as 6:30am and then stayed until 6pm. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

"I just wanted to say that it's not necessarily true--that you would go nuts staying home."

Some of us just might. One of my big reasons for not having children is that I don't like spending extended amounts of time around them or anyone / thing that requires constant attention and care. I work alone most of the time and enjoy it quite a bit. Some people, however; would go insane with as little social interaction I often get during the day.

Speaking of insane, what I hear / read teachers are put through is exactly that. It is insane, cruel and downright stupid that teachers can't even take a bathroom break when they need it, let alone the pay and other issues. Not everyone has what it takes to be a teacher (myself included) and it sucks that they're further discouraged by their lame work conditions.

I agree completely wiht how ridiculously low the salary for child care workesrs is. My first job as a teacher, with a masters degree, in NYC was a special ed pre school teacher. It was a city mandated preschool. I had all the same requirements as a teacher in an elementary/high school but I got less holidays and was paid less. I worked with kids with PDD (Pervasive developmetal delay). Most were on the autistic spectrum. I recieved less pay to do this then my husband recieved for his stipend as a grad student. Now I work with highschool special education kids and though I make more my salary is still pitifully low when compared with friends who work in other fields but have the same or less educaiton as me. I also work summers and an extended school day. The assistant teachers who work under me and are responsible for a lot of the physical care of the children (transportating in and out of wheel chairs, changing, feeding, etc.) make a barely living wage. Most of them have kids of school age, the salary would never cover day care, so they rely on relatives if they have younger children. One thing I find particulary ludricous is that the school system, which supposedly values children, offers very little in the way of maternity leave or child care supports. Parents can take time off but dont recieve any pay. They dont get reduced cost for day care or after school programs. The principal offers flex time for parents but is very stingy with it.
If I had children I would choose to stay home, but that is just me. it has a lot to do with the fact that my current job is basically taking care of small children and I dont see the point in leaving my own small child to go take care of others. Also I am a homebody and the idea of staying home with a small child and my pets all day really doesnt scare me. Its more the cost of having a kid that scares me. I know if I had ot balance work anda kid I would go nuts.
AT the same time I dont judge parents who put their kids in daycare. Most of my friends kids and myself were in daycare and we have all turned out fine. Daycare is a necessity for many parents.
I also think that it is fine if moms want an ocassional break from their kids. I dont see the problem with hiring a baby sitter and spending an evenign away from the kid or leaving the kid for a weekend,a week seems a bit much though, with a relative or very responsible care taker. I always think of what a mom I know told me: "Your child should be a very important part of your life, but they should not be your whole life." I think every parent needs to fine their own balance. Part of the reason I think parenthood is so stressful and crazy these days and part of the reason I am nervous about having a kid is that there is so much pressure to be perfect. Your supposed to work but the kid is also supposed to be enrolled ina million after schools and be a baby genius. I think moms all probably need to do their job differently and that it would be great if women period could be more supportive and less judgemental of eachothers chouices: to have kids, or not have kids, to use day care, or stay home, etc. Sorry this was so long but its an issue I think about a lot as I try to decide whether or not to have kids

For what it's worth, you sound like you'd be a great mom!

I am a teacher and hated having my son in daycare while I spent my day with other people's children. I mean, I went into teaching because I LOVE KIDS. So it only makes sense that I'd want to spend my days with my own kids. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, yes, I understand that. If you don't like kids, you definitely shouldn't stay home with them. Actually, you shouldn't have them at all. I'm right there with you guys in the child-free forum even though I'm not child-free myself. I know too many parents who really never should have had kids in the first place but did so (probably) because they thought they should.

And yes, I'm an extravert. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I enjoy interacting with my little ones and my friends throughout the day. I'm also a dedicated mom who really loves my kids. So being with them makes me happy. They'll be grown before I know it.

I myself work in a childcare facility. We are one of the best in my area and often have a 6 month waiting list to get in. I unfortunately dont make alot of money even though I am a certified teacher and spent years getting my degree, I dont make any more than the new people. Our main morning staff is very loyal to the center and have been there numerous years, I have been there the least amount of years and I have been there almost 7 years others are as many as 30 years. We are often over ratio and our rooms run up to 30 children a day with sometimes only 2 teachers, and you may be asking why is she staying and working under these conditions? Its because I am dedicated to those children and want to give them the best care that I can because sometimes I think when numbers are so high in a classroom I feel like some children get forgotten.
One thing that I have noticed with the children is that the ones that are in childcare 5 days a week all day are the ones with the worst behavior because they spend most of their time fighting for attention and are going to do whatever they have to do to get the attention that they crave. I dont believe childcare is a bad thing but it becomes bad when the children are there more then they are at their own homes. Children idolize their parents and just want attention and to be loved. So if it is necessary for your kids to spend some time in childcare make sure you take some other time to spend with them.

Yes, I see the kids on Super Nanny and they are often just crying out to be loved! Heck, she has to TEACH some of the parents how to PLAY with their kids. Sad. This last mom she had to teach to HUG her kids. Very sad, but I thought it was great the mom wanted to change.

I agree about daycare and the conditions in even the BEST ones. That's why I pulled my son out.

At work today my coworkers were discussing preschools. They were talking about a test kids take to get into a quality NYC preschool. The kids are about age two or three. Also one mom was looking at a 27000 a year preschool. Im sorry that is nuts. I know all about developmental stages in kids because I teach, and at two or three years old they should not be getting structured academics, which they get at these preschools. They also should not be being tested its nuts. I think it is just a jip to get parents money, I doubt the programs are really that much better. If I have a kid and he/she goes to preshcool they will go to a local one that is low cost and that focuses on playing and not academics. I wont be spending 27000 on anything, not even college, public colleges are all pretty good. I just think the costs of things and the services available for kids are out of controll, I think we need to look back 20 years at the things that were available then and remember the kids survived. No one needs a 27000 preschool NO ONE