BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Coerced pregnancy

I agree with others' comments about the tricky nature of statistics...which is why, when I read any kind of stat, I always try to figure out where it came from. In this case, I emailed Health magazine and I actually got a response!

Here it is:

The data was "gathered from a recent survey of women aged 18-44
conducted by
Harris Interactive� on behalf of the makers of FIRST RESPONSE and
RESOLVE:
The National Infertility Association in June 2006."

Methodology for the Study

This survey was conducted online by Harris Interactive on behalf of
First
Response among 541 adult women (aged 18 to 44) within the United States
between May 30 and June 1, 2006. Figures for region, age within gender,
education, household income and race/ethnicity were weighted where
necessary
to bring them into line with their actual proportions in the
population.
Propensity score weighting was also used to adjust for respondents�
propensity to be online.

With pure probability samples, with 100 percent response rates, it is
possible to calculate the probability that the sampling error (but not
other
sources of error) is not greater than some number. With a pure
probability
sample of 541 adult women one could say with a ninety-five percent
probability that the overall results have a sampling error of +/- 6.2
percentage points. However that does not take other sources of error
into
account. This online survey is not based on a probability sample and
therefore no theoretical sampling error can be calculated.

This survey was sponsored by FIRST RESPONSE�, in conjunction with a
partnership with RESOLVE the National Infertility Association.

So there you have it...decent size sample, but it was online, and you don't know how the questions were phrased...

I agree that "coerced" is a rather strong word, but maybe it IS appropriate...I am amazed at how easily some people cave to others' wishes. Men can be that way too, though I'm sorry to say I see it more in women. Yuck--what a miserable way to live your life.

As to FiddleDeeDee's comment about some people being too stupid to live...ever watch Cops? I can't tell you the number of times I've watched the cops pull a bag of meth or crack or whatever out of someone's shoe, or purse, or underwear, and the person looking all big-eyed and surprised and saying "I SWEAR I don't know that got there!" Or letting the cop search their car when they know darn well that they've got something illegal in there. Then again, maybe that's addiction, not stupidity. Though it seems as though the drugs do make you do stupid things.

Wow, Joz ---

Nice detective work!

Thanks

Elise

(I've been looking through other threads and this one looked quite interesting)...

This is a major concern of mine... My mum doesn't care about becoming a grandparent by me or my sister (she's made the absolute decision to be CF and have dogs instead), I think in part because she's assuming my brother will produce children but mostly because of my bi-polar (manic depression) and how bad it sometimes makes me feel.

It's my MIL who I feel will subconsciously push it. She has 2 sons, my hubby and his brother. His brother is 25, still lives at home, has never had a girl or boyfriend, since I've known him he's never had a job (5 years) he used to look after his nan, but she died over 3 years ago. It seems they had 2 children on purpose - 1 to breed and the other to look after them in old age... They are a lovely family and in my weaker moments I think they should be grandparents - but in my pragmatic and realistic moments I know that I will be in charge of all of the hard graft and they will see their grandchild a dozen or so times a year, have all of the joy of talking about progress and all that but none of the sleepless nights, financial troubles that we would... Very scary!

Hi purple. (Isn't it always people like the brother who end up having five kids in spite of no job, etc.?) How would a very frank talk with your MIL go over? I go back to my friend and her husband, who didn't want her to be on her meds because he had no idea what she was like without them. She stopped taking them, and as soon as she went through a couple up/down cycles with him, he understood why she was on them. Maybe your MIL needs to understand better about your health concerns. My other thought is, how close are your families? Would your mom be able to discuss this with his mom, let his mom know that she's okay with you not having kids because your health is more important to her than fulfilling the fantasy of grandkids?

Hi Bunny, Thanks for that... I don't think hubby's brother is likely to be a father - I think that Monks have a more active social life than he does...

I'm talking to Hubby about some other issues tonight (general relationship stuff), maybe I could raise the fact that I'd like to tell his parents I don't want children in the mix. My parents and his parents are close but not close enough for a discussion unfortunately (and I guess it's best if it comes from me). We're going over to his parents for lunch on Sunday - might be a time to raise things then... I'd like hubby to do it, so it seals the fact that he's happy not having them either. It's a real toughie - now I understand why it's awkward and uncomfortable to admit you're gay - it's not what is expected and isn't the image they wanted.

Well, for what it's worth, you've got my support. You are probably right that they should hear it from you/him first. I guess I was thinking of your mom being able to soften it if the two moms got into a general grandkid discussion (as opposed to leaving it to her to break the news).

I really wish my friend hadn't been so desperate for kids. I don't like seeing her off her meds or the cycles she goes into (her highs aren't too bad, mostly shopping and eating binges, but her lows can be pretty ugly). And she has other issues, too, and it kills me to think she'll continue some of those behavior patterns with her own kids.