Many of the childfree community are harrased to no end "in real life" (in person, as opposed to over the internet) based on their decision to not have kids. Many people here have been harassed about this by family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, coworkers, students, people at church, strangers on the street...the list goes on. So, many childfree individuals have a lot of pent up anger, and they vent it here, where they know there are others of like mind around. Many childfree have a difficult time venting anger anywhere else, as others close to us or overhearing what we say may offer up more harassment about our choice.
When most of us call a parent a name, it is because they have been a bad parent, and when they call a child a name, it is because they have been a bad child. It is the same as in the general population...others may not use the term "breeder" or "moo" or what-have-you, but I'm certain you have heard people say "what a terrible parent" or "so-and-so should not have had kids" or some such thing. Most of us know that all people are different, and that there are some very good parents out there -- what we may fail to get across in our posts is that when we call a name, those good parents are excluded from that group.
I am not defending anyone's actions, be they childfree, parents or people who are undecided; one of the reasons I am here is to promote understanding so that we can all get along and learn from each other.
In the interest of harmony between people, and avoiding misunderstandings, I try to avoid calling names and be as plain and straightforward as possible. If I mean bad parent, I will say bad parent. Or ideally, I will describe the action or attitude that I don't like, and be neutral about the person. We all have bad days and we all make mistakes, but that doesn't make us bad people.
Now, given, that all goes down the tubes when we are upset...we all use harsh words when we're upset...and the anonymity of the internet makes it so much easier. But be forgiving of these things, everyone...we all say things we don't mean when we're mad, or hurting, or when someone has hurt our feelings or offended us.
So it comes full circle...perhaps on message boards for parents, people write about people who have made them mad, hurt their feelings, or offended them. They might be childfree, they might be other parents, they might be little green men from mars. But that's just human nature...everybody has to vent sometimes.
That makes us all more similar than different, I think, even with our hugely different lifestyles.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance on this matter. I would so love it if we all got along and respected one anothers' point of view. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
