BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids tolerance at MNK

I grow worried about the overpopulation of the world, who is choosing to have kids and who is not, the burden humans put on the planet.

However, I differ from you in that I have been offended by things posted on here. While I can agree with the essence of something, I can say I don't like the way it's plated.

And that's not PC, it's acting from a frame of reference of love for each other and not hate. It's who I am a person that finds name-calling and lumping of folks into a category as distasteful. I am the least PC person you could ever meet. I do things based on what feels right in my heart.

The Internet holds many hate-filled boards. Has it advanced society? I find it only makes the world less human. It decreases understanding and turns folks off to the message, whatever that message is.

Though CF myself (yes, by choice), I still believe in humanity and try to reflect that by showing compassion and tolerance. Love is the only rational act. And I think CFers are predominantly rational. Let's show it and show how our world is not bitter.

Lastly, and this is a rhetorical question just for thought: If continual name-calling and labeling is behaving like adults, then I wonder what you think childlike behavior is.

I label people by their behavior. If they don't want that label, they shouldn't act in that manner. I don't see what's so difficult about that. Nobody's generalizing everybody--they're speaking of specific people and specific types of people they have encountered. Why do I feel like that's the biggest problem with people being "offended" here, that they can't tell the difference between a generalization and a description/label that's EARNED by a specific person or group of people?

Kim, I for one appreciate the fact that these problems have been brought out in the open for this discussion. I think there have been some very valid points made above about free speech and CF people having a forum to vent about family (and others) who "push" all kinds of questions on those who want to be CF or have no choice. Although I AM married and do have grown children, I frequent this board just to hear the questions, comments and feelings. My best friend is CF; one brother is CF; 2 of my 4 children are CF. The views I see on here open my eyes and my mind. I agree with Barbara, however, that the views are sometimes overshadowed by the way they are stated, using some of the distasteful name-calling and lumping folks into categories. Bella forums are known for their compassion and tolerance and not for their hateful language, which honestly has turned me (and others) off at times.

I did not complain about all the negative references to mothers as moos, breeders, etc. but it does cause a sense of "battle lines" that some CF people seem to want to establish. Rather than vent about certain specific problems their family causes by wanting grandchildren, for ex.,every parent becomes a target. There could a forum on BAD PARENTS or RUDE STUDENTS or Stupid things that folks do with their kids or even Kids with behavior problems; Parents that don't teach manners. There are so many topics that ALL of us, CF and PARENTS, married or NOT would like to comment on. Subjects that are brought up this site are very interesting to general public, too.

CF forum posters want to discuss how "rude kids are in a restaurant" and how the parents do nothing to correct them. On that particular post, I wanted to give my feelings too because that affects me, also, but I know how some of the people on the forum don't like for me (and other parents) to post, because I am married and have children, even though my children are grown. We get called "lurkers". It makes outsiders feel pretty bad. I would hope as some of these rules take effect that regular members of the CF forum don't look at this as a "Big Brother" approach but rather as a more human way to run a forum. I feel that some of the people here are 'friends' that I have talked to on other forums and I hope that we can all continue to talk in the spirit of BellaOnline and be friends.

Trish

I would hope we could all be friends and put little things aside to talk about bigger issues, in a way that encourages openness and discussion.

Just as a side, 1984 was about government controlling people, down to thought police, but this is a different situation. i.e., private boards, which are akin to one's own house in a way. If you're not allowed to smoke in my house, then that's just a rule for my personal space and not me restricting your freedom. You have a choice and I have a choice and there are ways for both of us to exercise those freedoms.

And, as baby quacker points out, others who are not MNK might like to comment. Perhaps we can gain enlightenment from them. Its sorta disingenuous to say one wants free speech but to also say that those with kids are not allowed in here. All the boards are open to anyone, as long as they are respectful.

[color:"orange"]Edited by management for TOS violations[/color]