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I'll give it a try. Thanks for the advise. I hope to become RM some day, but I know I still got a lot to learn and practise before I dare to call myself a master. I try to respect reiki and know it's true philosophy. Not like others, who see how much money they can get out of it...

Here is one more small technique. If you have aphoto or whatever of anything holy where you pray, pray there with palms open and ask for support. And do reiki after that.

The only thing that remotely comes close to a photo or object are my rune stones. I've gotten them from the first RM I had contact with and who has guided me through the years. Now she has 3 teens, a business to run and a broken marriage. She felt like quiting giving reiki to others or giving R1 initiations. After that, I found my RM, but I'm afraid I'm not that happy with her. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

If my first RM ever decides to initiate people again, I'm planning on doing my R1 again.

Let me tell you one thing. RI do not work.
The best way to use Reiki is for mental or physical problems.
Did you try the candle light as I has suggested?

Why do you want to do RI again?

Because she is my first RM I ever met and we have grown over the years. Sometimes we agreed with things, other occassions, we almost fighted with each other. Now everything is stable and we know what we can expect for each other. I was shocked when she told me that she didn't want to give me R1 initiation. She knew I was shocked, but I was thankfull for her being honest. I've found a different RM, but it's just not the same. I'm having issues with her as well, but I notice that she plain doesn't get as much chances as my old/first RM does. I just don't feel like giving her that much chances. She's always trying to push rules and terms by usage of her husband.

My first RM just plain told me herself what she thought about it and what she wanted. My RM where I got my initiation all does it through her husband. My RM is my RM, not her husband, so if something is wrong, my RM should tell me. I intend to talk it through with her once more, but if that fails, I'll have to walk a lonely road...
maybe it has to be this way.

Yes, tried the candle once before an exam of internal organ an chakramassage. Lots of things happened the day of the exam and afterwards. I'm not going to tell everything, or this message will be 3x as long (I'll save it for a different occassion) but I'm trying to change it around now.
But the road is long...