Because she is my first RM I ever met and we have grown over the years. Sometimes we agreed with things, other occassions, we almost fighted with each other. Now everything is stable and we know what we can expect for each other. I was shocked when she told me that she didn't want to give me R1 initiation. She knew I was shocked, but I was thankfull for her being honest. I've found a different RM, but it's just not the same. I'm having issues with her as well, but I notice that she plain doesn't get as much chances as my old/first RM does. I just don't feel like giving her that much chances. She's always trying to push rules and terms by usage of her husband.
My first RM just plain told me herself what she thought about it and what she wanted. My RM where I got my initiation all does it through her husband. My RM is my RM, not her husband, so if something is wrong, my RM should tell me. I intend to talk it through with her once more, but if that fails, I'll have to walk a lonely road...
maybe it has to be this way.
Yes, tried the candle once before an exam of internal organ an chakramassage. Lots of things happened the day of the exam and afterwards. I'm not going to tell everything, or this message will be 3x as long (I'll save it for a different occassion) but I'm trying to change it around now.
But the road is long...