BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Any clue before marriage?

I'd like to ask the same question that michelle has for jeanette: are you still married to this man? If yes, then get out! ... if there is no love lost between the two of you... although even if there is, I'll still suggest the same thing: get out!

Men can be the stronger sex physically but women can be much stronger in wisdom if need be. Use it.

Fortunately I escaped my hell two years ago.

It was the BEST thing I have ever done.

If anyone is in a similar situation, do not wait expecting him to change.

Get out immediately! It may be tough and you may struggle financially but I would prefer to be financially broke then mentally and physically broke.

Take Care

Wow Jeannete, I had never heard your story before.

It's amazing to know that things like that still happen in today's world - but you are by no means the only one out there! I am so glad you are no longer in that and are here to help others out of similar situations.

I think we as women undervalue our intuition many times. We've grown up in the 20th and 21st century where logic is king and to trust in our feelings is considered silly - but those gut reactions can tell us so much!!! Instincts are there for basic survival, so if a man feels wrong to us, we should pay heed to that.

There are times when that intuition does fail, but more often than not a woman will say "I just had a bad feeling" and it will turn out right. We will logic ourselves into staying with an abusive man - whether physical, verbal, or emotional.

But back to CD's origiinal question - anytime there is a pattern of alchol or substance abuse in a man - RUN! This may not always turn into abuse, but it never results in a stable partner - and ladies, we are worth more than that! <img src="/images/graemlins/queen.gif" alt="" />

[quoteI think we all would change things we have done in our past if we could. But we need to learn from our mistakes and move on. That sounds like a very hard way to have to live. I'm sure you weren't thinking clearly at that time.
I am fairly new here so I am not aware of your circumstances now. Are you still married to this man? How are you children? [/quote]

I am the moderator and editor for the domestic violence site *waves hello* THere are bits and pieces of my background throughout my articles and in my bio page at the main site. We were married for about 6 months before I filed a restraining order against him to get him out of my apartment. One night he began throwing clothes tubs all over the apartment then proceeded to the furniture. He nearly toppled a love seat over onto the kids who were trapped in a corner of the living room. That night I called my best friend and told him I had had enough, I was done, I wanted him out. This was on a weekend. THat Monday he gave me a ride to the domestic court offices and I filed and they came and put him out the next day. That was May of 2004. THe kids and I are still in that same apartment. They are healthy and happy little people (ages 6 and almost 4). Seeing people fight physically or arguing very loudly upset them both still to this day. They haven't seen him since July of 2004 and I haven't heard from him since February of this year. I had to go to child support court with him then.

Thanks, Michelle

You have given first clue-

But back to CD's origiinal question - anytime there is a pattern of alchol or substance abuse in a man - RUN! This may not always turn into abuse, but it never results in a stable partner - and ladies, we are worth more than that!