BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids The jealousy of the childed

[color:"blue"] Before my sibling and I were taking out into public, we were TOLD to be on our best behavior. If we misbehaved, WE WENT HOME. <img src="/images/graemlins/devil.gif" alt="" />I've seen that happen once, but rarely, bc we were ALWAYS on our best behavior. I'll tell ya, my parents were obviously PNB's and I thank God. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
When we were little, my mother didn't take us out much bc she knew we were too little to understand to behave in public. NUMEROUS times we stayed with a babysitter so my parents could have an evening out without us. That is understandable. <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I do not care, however, for the lack of parenting on the parenting part. I do not care to see a kid throwing a whopper tantrum and the parent not doing a damn thing. Neither does my very own mother. <img src="/images/graemlins/angel.gif" alt="" />

I think the parents/breeders p****** and moaning about us is another cut tail sign that they are jealous. They know damn well that us childfree can go anywhere at a tip of the hat without messing/bothering with kids. They use the line of, "they wouldn't know if they were in our shoes," to make us look bad. Having media and society make the childfree look bad is NOTHING new. We are treated as outcasts for one simple decision. The split second someone tells the world they are pregnant, they get, "Congratulations!" even if the baby is made/born out of wedlock. The minute a childfree tells the world, we are bombarded with literal BS. It is almost akin to the same response of someone coming out of the closet to a strict Christian family. Claim you are childfree, you'll have people treat you differently, disown you, treat you as you aren't as important for conversation, ect. It anyone does support the childfree, they are few and in between. In other words, very small in number. That is why we have boards like this where we find other likeminded supporters. Other fellow childfree and I thank God for that.
<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
I lurked on the website, www.bloggingbaby.com mainly because I like to see what a train wreck breeders OH! I mean parents lives are. It is instant birth control. I feel for the good parents out there, the ones who earned the name parent. They have to put up with this [censored] every single time they go out. They probably have to go home with Johnny and Suzy and tell them that the such and such kid�s behavior wasn�t acceptable. For those who do such a wonderful job of parenting like Hello, I�m sorry you have to put up with such c-r-a-p. <img src="/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
For the breeders, OH! I mean parents, anyone can f*** at the wrong time of the month without birth control and would up pregnant, it�s not rocket science, but not EVERYONE can be a parent based on the appropriate way they raise kids. Rather someone is a parent, like my parents, and they aren�t breeders, or they do a lousy job of parenting, and they earned the right to be called breeders. <img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Ignorance must be bliss.[/color]

Yes, call them breeders. I agree. Oh I'm having fun working out my angst on this board today! My sister who is CF for now says she'd like to be President and she'd run on the platform that she'd sterilize everyone and then they'd need to apply to have a child and she'd determine if they were worthy and then reverse the sterilization. Of course she's kidding (sort of). You guys know what I mean.
Funny you should say that - that's exactly what I do. Going out is a privilege. If you misbehave at home or outside you lose the privilege of being out and about.
So anyway, what are you guys doing with all your free time? Let me know! Make me jealous! Ha ha.
Free time is definitely something I appreciate nowadays. I do get my share. I mean if you're a parent and you don't have time to ,for example, to shower (there's lot of Moms that say this) then I believe you're doing something drastically wrong. I mean showering is like a given. One needs free time to do not just the necessary stuff, but the fun stuff too. I have two kids and the fun stuff "me" time is limited, but always available.
I have some CF friends that just bought some land up in Maine. It sounds beautiful. One CF friend loves to travel. She says she could never give that up. Yes, I love traveling too. I've been all over the world - then I settled down. I'll do it again one day. I'd love to go to Chile, Argentina, and Antarctica.
What hobbies do you have?
By the way, someone should make a documentary about the CF lifestyle. You guys are just misunderstood. You need to take the lifestyle mainstream. I mean look how much more we know now about those Marching Penguins!
I, myself, would like to see a no-holds-barred documentary about parenting. I would stand firmly against child-centric parenting.

here's what my free time consists of (message to hello):
get to work more than an hour early to tutor kids or get lessons planned.

meet with other teachers or parents or administrators during my lunch.

after school, i attend meetings for committees i was "chosen" for.

i also attend a class 1 night a week.

1 night a week i have level leader meetings because i'm in charge of the bilingual/esl dept in our school (read that as "i'm" the department right now, lol).

2 nights a week i work at a tutoring center for disadvantaged youth.

i try to work out (lift weights and run) at least an hour a day (if it's a free night, i make it 2 hours a day).

on weekends, i catch up on laundry, dishes, cleaning, washing the dog, cleaning out the cat boxes, etc.

oh, and i try to at least eat dinner with my husband each night. even if it involves me eating my late dinner in the living room while he's watching football next to me. at least i'm getting to spend some time with him when he's not traveling for work (3 nights a week).

we do vacation overseas, but the rest of the year, we're incredibly busy.

so i guess people are jealous of this?

Interesting, Hello. Thank you, I appreciate it.

My husband works and I don't right now. He comes home tired bc the type of work he does is strenuous, but on the mind. He has an sit down office job. I keep the house spotless, and I do tend the house rather I'm working or not. I cook the meals for my dh and I. The evenings we have off. We only vacation once a year. During the day I have my free time, after I have everything 'kept'.
I can work, but right now I'm wanting to go back to school to focus on a degree that would give me better work and more pay. I'd like to work with computers. So next semester (spring) I'll be busy with homework every evening and studying, too. In a couple years, I would like to get a dog, some kittens and a pony, and that is quite the tremendous responsiblity. Next spring I'll be tending to the yard and planting various plants, bushes and trees. (Besides the fact of trying to get a yard in! That takes time) I'll be rather busy next year. The only difference maybe (that I can think of) between the childed and childfree is that my husband and I have our together time during the evenings. Our attention isn't split amonst kiddos.

No, I think there's a big difference between CF and childed. Your quote is probably true for most childed families. But for me both kids are in bed by 7:30pm and I won't hear from them until the morning. So my evenings are totally free too. BUT I can't leave here at the drop of a hat. Leaving the house takes a whole lot more planning.

Sorry, parenting is not a job. It is a responsibility - one which falls soley upon the shoulders of the bearer. Curtain climbers don't come out with instructions attached to their a sses, and obviously skill doesn't come into play until several years into the rearing.

What it does take, however is a lot of common sense. Something that is apparently lacking in today's parenting abilities, or lack thereof. Let's take a quick gander at an example of exercising common sense:

You're in the store with #1 on your skirt (a good thing), and #2 in the cart. #2 sees the next great thing in useless processed sweets and wants it. #2 starts with the whining..."but I waaaaaaaant iiiiiiiit!", you, with any common sense, say "No". #2 continues to whine, only the octaves escalate...meanwhile, #1 has detached from your skirt and finds the ball cage, where it nearly emptys the entire cage in order to retrieve the red one up top, and begins chasing the ball up and down the aisle. #2 starts screaming at levels that would pierce the deaf ears of my 90 year old grandfather, and #1 now wants the ball he almost killed an elderly woman with just moments ago.

OK, now is the opportunity for you to utilize your common sense abilities and LEAVE. You are not in control and it is evident by the deteriorating situation, that you are not going to be anytime soon. That is all we want. We KNOW kids are going to act up - duh. But for God's sake don't bestow this wretched behavior on us for the duration of your marathon shopping endeavor.

Fire

[color:"darkred"] Leave the store, that's a good one. Save every elses sanity. [/color]

The people who complain about the CF and get overly defensive are the people who didn't fully think through about what exactly parenting entails. Yeah, you get the happy sunshine Kodak moments, but in between, you get the screaming, the temper tantrums, the "I hate yous," the messes, the leaking of bodily fluids, the sleepless nights, the dirty looks at your misbehaving sproggen, etc.

And the world does not and should not revolve around you and bend over and take it just because "parenting is haaaaaaaaaarrrrrrd!" No [censored], Sherlock. But you signed on for that the day you decided to keep the baby. Everybody else wasn't in on that contract.

Actually, the number one thing that we CF keep in mind (that everyone else seems to forget:

Becoming a parent is a *choice*. I say "becoming" because actualy "parenting" is...well, just too, too rare.

A highly-quotable CF pal of mine, something of a celebrity within CF circles due to the fact she was profiled in the book "Baby Boon: How Family-Friendly America Cheats the Childless" by Elinor Burkett, has a famous saying, which get her a *lot* of static when she first made it in the late 90s:

"Children are an expensive private hobby".

She doesn't *quite* entirely mean it...after all, she pays taxes to run the local public schools, and doesn't complain, so she doesn't feel that the entire burden of children should fall on their parents. But beyond that, she feels she owes parents *nothing*. No deference whatsoever. No "special privileges" for what she sees as a "special interest".

She had previosuly thought about becoming a landlord (she lives in Mass.), but decided against it because in Mass., landlords aren't allowed to decide who can and can't rent their properties. She would have had to accept anyone who met the income requirements, including families with young children. Her POV is that it *should* be OK to discriminate against parents, as becoming a parent is a choice (unlike race, sex, sexual orientation, etc.).

She's an interesting pal, for certain!

Elise

Hey elise,
Your friend sounds very interesting! I have felt for the longest time that children are a 'lifestyle choice'.

There was a discussion at work one day about the lack of government spending on childcare fees here in ireland. Everybody was getting really worked up about the fact that there was no state-sponsored childcare like there is in some other european countries. After listening for what seemed like forever, i stated that there was no earthly reason why the government should step in and pay for childcare; there are more than enough people having kids already without it. In france, women are paid to have a third child due to the fact that reproductive rates have fallen so low in the last few years. No danger of that happening here!
In scandinavian countries, there is state-sponsored childcare but personal taxation is over 70%.
When i told my colleagues their choices were to stop having kids (so the government would step in and pay them to procreate) or to pay almost three times as much income tax...... a hush fell over the room.
And nobody could hassle me, because it's a perfectly sensible economic argument!