BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Really dumb things people have said to you

Aside from the typical "you're selfish", "you'll be lonely" quips we all hear, what are some other dumb things that people have said to you?

A 27 year old co-worker said to me once "I don't see the point in getting married if you're not going to have kids". I simply said back "that's because you're young, naive, and very inexperienced in life and love".

Because i'm pretty upfront about not wanting kids, people are more confused than anything. They often ask me 'why?'. I don't mind them asking if they're actually open to what i have to say. Several people have said to me that i'm denying my husband a wonderful experience - hello, there are two of us in this thing. If he wanted kids he'd have gone off and had them with someone else by now - it's not like there's a shortage of those women!
I enjoy a rational debate on the subject, but it's a rare thing. A lot of folks with kids seem to think it's a personal insult to their life choices if you don't do like they did.
After i read niki defago's book 'childfree and loving it', i thought it would be really interesting to read something giving the opposite viewpoint. But it was nigh on impossible to find something that was so rational and well-thought out about choosing to HAVE children. It would be nice to understand where these people are coming from. Surely they can't ALL be having kids as insurance for their old age, or to give their life meaning, or to make their own parents happy, or to please their partners, or to fit in with their peers?
Or can they?

i have been told numerous times how selfish i am, even by people who know we're infertile. people just don't understand it when someone is different from them. it makes them uncomfortable, so they attack it. at least that's what i've experienced.

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Yeah i'm sure there are loads of other reasons people have kids. Since i don't want kids, i can't imagine what they might be though. Those reasons were given to me by various family members/friends!

.

"to look after you when you are older is a justifiable reason to have kids"

that's very dangerous thinking. I've had two experiences where the children took advantage of the aging parent for money. Nice, I wonder if they thought children were going to take care of them, rather than take them to the cleaners. I used to get some strange comments, but I told them, if they could do a transplant, I'd be happy to give all my producing female organs to someone who wanted children, after all, I'm not gonna use it.

I think many people have kids simply because they think that's what they're "supposed" to do. Also, some think babies will be fun but haven't really thought about how having kids will change their lives..

Then you've got all the moms who become moms accidentally.

PS...I have a family member who is in his 60's. His wife passed away and he doesn't really have anyone. It's sad...of course that's not a reason to have kids and grandkids..

"I don't see the point in getting married if you're not going to have kids".

If someone said that to me, I'd probably reply "I don't see the point in getting married if you're GOING to have kids, since the kids will probably split up the marriage anyway." HA!

PS...I have a family member who is in his 60's. His wife passed away and he doesn't really have anyone. It's sad...of course that's not a reason to have kids and grandkids..


I was thinking of that when my grandfather died of cancer this past spring...my mom and other relatives really did a lot of taking care of him while he was sick and especially right before he died, and I thought "wait, what's going to happen to me when I'm old if I get cancer and am just lying there on a bed, who's going to shovel morphine into my mouth when I can't do it???" I have no idea, and the thought scares me, but then, even if I had kids, they might not hang around to do it either or something might happen that I'd outlive them...