BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids If you had kids, what kind of parent would you be?

Weird question, I know. Seriously though, even though you guys don't want them, if you had them, would you be a good parent?

My answer is no. I mean, there's no way to tell really, but from the way I am as a person, NO. I wouldn't be a good parent because first of all I REALLY DO NOT LIKE (hate?) kids, so I know I wouldn't treat them right. I also have NO idea how to raise one, I've never babysat, or had a younger brother or sister, and I was the baby of the family for nine years. Just the sight of babies makes me sick. I don't know what time around which babies walk, talk, or even eat on their own. I have no idea. I really don't care either, so I would be a bad parent. I also have a bad anger problem. I don't take my anger out on my animals, of course, they're innocent. But I don't know if it'd be any different with kids, because I personally do not believe they are innocent. They are humans, you know, they usually know what they're doing wrong or right. And talking back to your parents...when I see a kid doing that in public to his mother, I want to slap him. How could I refrain if it were my kid? All these questions do kinda scare me since I don't believe in violence to anyone or anything.

So let me wrap it up...I don't like kids (at all), don't know how to raise them, and I have anger problems with not anything but with kids. I think there's more but that alone would make me an unfit mother.

An absolutely terrified, extremely anxious, overwhelmingly overprotective, nervous nutcase of a parent is what I'd be. There are just WAY too many things that could go wrong.

Regarding the right/wrong issue. Kids won't know right/wrong unless they've been taught right/wrong. Slap the parent, not the kid.

Me too Wildfern!!

I would be a basketcase from conception until my own death. Seriously. I have always tended to be a bit on the paranoid side, and I know that the stress of worrying about a kid would far exceed my limitations. I worry when my husband is out -- imagine how I would feel if my 16 year old daugther missed her curfew? I would die from the panic.

I make a MUCH BETTER "cool aunt" -- trust me. People who know me best know that I am absolutely right on that!!

Kim
MNK Editor

I think I'd prolly actually be a good parent sometimes...but when I wasn't being a good one, I'd be a horrible one...and there's the chance I'd be abusive as well (hot temper, no patience. Plus control issues--the first time my kid was in trouble and LAUGHED when in trouble/punished/yelled at...I know I'd go ballistic and would probably start smacking them around to teach them that being in trouble with me is NOT something that should be considered anything but very serious). That right there is a hard thing to admit--nobody wants to hear that someone else would be an abusive parent and it makes me sound like a horrible person--but I know it could be a very large possibility. At least I know it and am (in part) not having kids because of it.

(edit: y'know, now that I remember that, that's a good argument--my current significant other and I were discussing kids a little while ago and I told him I wanted to be sterilized. He said "don't you wonder if you might change your mind in ten years?" I'll have to remember, now, that in addition to saying "no, trust me, I will NOT change my mind" [which to some people isn't a definite argument], I can also say "and trust me, you don't WANT me to, unless you want cowering, black-and-blue kids all the time.")

Everyone tells us we would be great parents but I'm not sure why. Being a "cool aunt" doesn't mean I'd be a good mom. I will say that DH has the patience of a saint with his disabled brother (I do not). He grew up in a large family with tons of kids and is very comfortable around them and very good with them. He thinks he would lose his temper and get too physical, but I think he would make a much better parent than I would.

I do fine with babies and toddlers (until they cry or smell), then again when they hit 12 and can have a decent conversation - as long as I can give them back. I hate the "why" this and "why" that and lose patience with it. I also can't stand sticky, dirty fingers and faces. I am neurotic with my bunnies - watching every little twitch to see if something is wrong. I don't think I'd survive scraped knees, broken bones and ear aches, let alone real problems or illnesses. I don't know how people let their kids play outside unsupervised - I would get nothing done because I'd be watching like a hawk. And how they put them on a school bus and send them away is beyond me. Then there's dating, proms, cars, college... I'd be a nervous wreck. So truly, it's better if I don't have kids.

I agreewith the other posters, I'm the "cool aunt" but God help me (and the poor child that would have to live in a padded, majorly over-protected, startlingly hovered over, never allowed to do anything that might be the eensiest smidgen dangerous world of my house were I ever a parent) if some weird quirk of fate unfixed the work the surgeon did on my SO and I became pregnant.

Same as that! I'm a 'think ahead' kind of person, so would be really over-protective i think. It really is nice having a little niece to spoil, but the occasional times i look after her i'm struck by how huge the responsibility is. Imagine having that 24/7!
I also think that my DH and i would have totally different parenting styles, which could cause conflict. My teenage brother lived with us for several months at one stage, and my husband found it hard going. He believes kids should 'show respect' by not contradicting their elders or questioning their opinions. I believe that teenagers in particular think they 'know it all', and that's fine - life soon knocks the arrogance out of them. There were many arguments in our home at that time!
So, i think that apart from not actually wanting kids, there are lots of reasons for me (and us) to not have them.
I'm getting a headache just thinking about it now.... seriously!!

i'd like to think i'd be a good parent. i've been around babies and toddlers my whole life. i've taught junior high for almost 14 years. so i think i have a lot of patience when it comes to kids and what they like to do (drive adults bonkers).

however, if it were my own kid, i don't know. i might expect more out my kid than i do my students. i might be over-protective. i might spoil the kid.

i really don't know.

dh would be good. he is consistent and firm (with the cats and the dog, lol).

[color:"orange"] I would be a strict parent, bc I do NOT tolerate the stupidity, ignorance, ill-behaved, noisy, annoying kids. [/color]

"If you had kids, what kind of parent would you be?"

The kind that gives her child up for adoption.

Barring that, the kind that gets arrested for one thing or another.


(Just being honest)