BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Comments in support of your decision?

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Why do people have to be so annoying? I think if I ever hear the "You'll change your mind line" I'll box their ears!

<img src="/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

[color:"green"] Thanks, everyone. Yes, I am lucky. My doctor suprised me, however. When she started out asking me if I was going to have children, I was laying there thinking, oh damnit, I'm going to get bingoed. It shocked me. She then said that you don't have to have them if you don't want to and shouldn't bc if you think you 'have to.' Why don't they tell more women that?? That would stop the amount of unwanted babies being born. I'm glad my doc regonizes that I know my mind. Also by the fact that I keep getting my birth control prescription filled. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/devil.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/fish.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/music.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/beamedup.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/irish.gif" alt="" />[/color]

I brought it up with my RNP at one exam a couple years ago. I think I asked her something like "How hard would it be for me to get sterilized? Because I don't want kids, EVER." She just said "you won't be able to find someone to do it before you're 25." And that was pretty much all she said. I wasn't sure if she was just being factual, or if she disapproved and just didn't want to say anything more.

I remember back in college, though, the nurse at the health center was pretty spiffy about it; we had a talk once about the pros and cons of different birth control methods and sterilization, she understood when I said I was against abortion and might even be uncomfortable with the fact that the pill/IUD keeps the fertilized egg from implanting so would need to look into other options, etc. If I ever need to look into sterilization, I may very well contact her first and see if she knows anyone who'd be willing to do it. She was just about the only person in that health center who wasn't a quack (the receptionist was cool too). I miss her.

I am really lucky I suppose. Most of the people whom I tell about my decision are very supportive. Most can actually agree with me which is more shocking. (Maybe I just have selective hearing) A few don't have much to comment at all. I have had a couple people tell me I am too young to make that decision and that "you never know until you have one".
Of course what I don't get is, I am old enough to make the decision that I want to have them yet, too young to say I don't want them? That's crazy. And I guess I can't miss out on something that I have never had <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Most people seem mildly shocked at first, but then rapidly become somewhat patronizing and smug. I look younger than I am, which plays a role in how seriously I'm taken. Also, my parents are very uncomfortable with my decision and mostly voice their disapproval subtly.

A few people have surprised me with their support. A friend who's a single father of two teenage girls has expressed his understanding, along with a few others.

I dont really advertise my feelings about having kids much. I just sort of dont say ant then if pressed explain Im undecided. My parents have never really said anything nor my in-laws. I think they figure will eventually decide to have kids since we are undecided and most people they know have them. Intersting the people who are most schocked are younger people. I have one friend who is shocked I might not have kids. She is even more shocked that I said the only way I could have them is I could afford to stay home becuase I wouldnt be able to balance work and a kid, Im not a good multi-tasker and Ineed time for myself. She desperately wants a kid but says she wants to go to work immediately because she doesnt want to spend all day with a baby becuase she thinkgs its demeaning?!? I must confess I dont get this at all I suspect she really doesnt want kids or at least has mixed feeling btu feels pressurd.

I didn't think I wanted kids, then I decided to have mine and am so glad I did. I can't say we have WORKED so hard to RAISE him right. We just try to teach him by example, including not being obnoxious in public. He was always so good, certain behavious were just not accepted. Never had to spank, etc. Other peoples kids get on my freekin' nerves! And guess what, their own parents complain about them too! I do feel sorry for the kids, obviously mom & dad have some issues that should have been dealt with first.

I admire people who know what they want, and I wish more parents knew what they wanted before they became parents. They make hubby & I look bad!