BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Loss of a pet

So sorry to hear about Frank. (big e-hug) I think childfree people can really appreciate the pain someone goes through losing a pet. They truly are a part of the family. I know that my kitties are my "children."

Take care hon, and do things on your own timeframe...not someone elses.

Sofie,

I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies.

I think this is absolutely a childfree issue. Many childfree have (and love) pets just like anyone else. It's not childfree-specific, but it's still an issue so many of us deal with.

I also think it was rude of people to ask you if/when you're going to get a new dog...rude in the same vein as "when are you going to have kids" and all of those questions we also deal with. As I always like to say, it's nobody's business what you do with your home and/or your family planning, and pets count as family planning. At least in my opinion. Anyway, their question about getting "a new dog" is degrading to your beloved pet...the question itself treats the pet more as an object than as a family member.


Holles,

I'm sorry for your loss as well (the miscarriage you mentioned). I'm especially sorry that people gave you snarky comments about "trying again." As I mention above, the comment itself treats the unborn as an object more than a person that you loved and valued. I'm sorry that anyone talked about it that way.


Patience,

Your poem is beautiful! It truly brought a tear to my eye. I think you should have it published -- seriously. There are specialty books out there for pet lovers, and there may well be books about the loss of a pet; your poem would be just perfect for such a thing.


To everyone,

Your sympathy and stories touch my heart. I do not own a pet, although I am an animal lover. Actually, my husband and I talked about it, and we do not own pets because we know we would be devastated at the pets' eventual death. So instead, we're dedicated pet aunts and uncles. This is similar to our habits with being childfree -- around the holidays and for special occasions, we bring treats and gifts for all of our friends' "children" whether they are human or animal! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


~Xantres, former owner of a series of sapphire-blue beta fishes <img src="/images/graemlins/fish.gif" alt="" />

[color:"magenta"] I'm sorry to hear about your loss. <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> [/color]

Dear Xantres,
I too was so touched by the loving response to Sofie's sad loss. It shows how many people really care about the pain that we feel, and they beautifully reach out to those who are grieving.

Thank you too for your kind words about my little poem. I have written several poems, but never thought of seeking to have them published. To be honest, I don't really know how to go about it!!!

I live in Australia, and I know that over here it is very difficult to get published. You have to have something REALLY good! So I've never tried. Perhaps Americans are more appreciative of poetry than Aussies! (grin)

Bless you all! And loving hugs to you, Sofie.

Since Sofie couldn't put Frank's pictures up, I had her e-mail me a couple.

He was much too cute and sweet for everyone not to admire.



He will be missed. <img src="/images/graemlins/heart.gif" alt="" />

Michelle, thanks so much! Frank would've appreciated it too � he was a serious ham whenever a camera was pointed his way.

Elfgirl, I too am glad to have so many pictures (so so many!) of Frank. I draw comfort from looking through them and reminiscing. And I love talking about him � he was a helluva dog.

Holly, I don't blame you for continuing to hold a grudge against your co-worker! Someone that callous doesn't deserve your time. To be so dismissive of another person's pain is inexcusable. Comments like that do (as Xantres said) treat the lost one as an interchangeable object. My Mother-in-Law made a similar comment (although I think she meant well). She asked when I'd be getting another dog and then said she had just never known me without "a dog" � as if I get a new one each year.

Patience, your poem...all I can say is "wow." You're a very talented writer, and I hope you don't mind, but I printed a copy of your poem to go in a scrapbook I'm putting together - The Chronicles of Frank: 1988-2006:). I also shared it with a friend of mine who lost her dog last fall � another old timer and a good buddy of Frank�s. If you're interested, you can post poems on the rainbowbridge.com website that Kim mentioned. I was reading through some of them.

All of your messages have been so wonderful. Thank you. I've talked to my husband a little about how it chips at me to have people ask me about getting a new dog but I know he doesn't really like to talk about it too much; he's a big macho jock most of the time but he held Frank in his lap and cried as the vet did the procedure.

I would love to see pictures of some of your pets as well. Take care everyone.

Dear Sofie,
You are more than welcome to use my poem and to share it with others.
If you e-mail me privately, I will send you a picture of Lisa and my present three dogs! (just click on my name, on the left, and you will see where you can send a private message)
Loving hugs!

Such a handsome little guy!

[color:"darkred"] Cute pics! I've known people who have gotten another after a loss, but then again, not everyone is the same. My parents didn't get another dog after the loss of our beloved miniature schnauzer. She'll forever be missed. ((((((Hugs)))))) to those who have lost a pet. [/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Oh I'll definitely get another dog....someday.


WaterLily, I like your avatar:) I should get a T-shirt like that and wear it to our firm picnic.....nah, I'd probably be stoned to death.