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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711
Gecko
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OP
Gecko
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 711 |
I think the swinger lifestyle is just more suitable for some than others. I personally have a hard time being myself when I'm dating a girl who acts very reserved and frigid about sex & any kind of sexual expression. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Something I learned about myself is that I may not take it as far as swinging, but I am definitely feel more comfortable when I'm in a relationship with a girl who is open-minded and more liberal minded when it comes to sex life. I always still put a hugh emphasis on getting to know that person first, establishing that deep connection and trust, and also being responsible and clean...disease free. I have an issue wih swingers who show a disregard for that. The ones that don't disregard and do take all the precautions to be clean & responsible about it, I have no issue with. For example, if I was in a relationship & we considered swinging with a certain person, I would personally have to require all 3 of us to go to the doctor together and take the STD/AIDs together in order to even consider it. I would have to hear it out of the doctor's mouth in person that everybody is clean & disease free. Now how many swingers actually would or do show that much responsibilty? I would guess very few
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004 |
I think the swinger lifestyle is just more suitable for some than others. I personally have a hard time being myself when I'm dating a girl who acts very reserved and frigid about sex & any kind of sexual expression. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Something I learned about myself is that I may not take it as far as swinging, but I am definitely feel more comfortable when I'm in a relationship with a girl who is open-minded and more liberal minded when it comes to sex life. I always still put a hugh emphasis on getting to know that person first, establishing that deep connection and trust, and also being responsible and clean...disease free. I have an issue wih swingers who show a disregard for that. The ones that don't disregard and do take all the precautions to be clean & responsible about it, I have no issue with. For example, if I was in a relationship & we considered swinging with a certain person, I would personally have to require all 3 of us to go to the doctor together and take the STD/AIDs together in order to even consider it. I would have to hear it out of the doctor's mouth in person that everybody is clean & disease free. Now how many swingers actually would or do show that much responsibilty? I would guess very few I agree with you. Every body should get checked.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20 |
Because they don't care about the other person. It's easy to be happy in a relationship and screwing other people when you don't care about anyone else but yourself. Why wouldn't you be happy? It's basically a mini-orgy every day. Who wouldn't like that? If you care about the other person in the relationship, how could you let some other guy run up in her? AND WATCH?!! How could you call some one yours wheneveryone has had her? I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I know a guy who had slept with my significant other and told me about it. These type of relations never last on a long term basis because the fact that you don't care about this person enough to watch them get BUCKED will soon lead to one of you having sex with some one without the other person knowing. Or having sex multiple times with some one when the other doesn't know about anything other than the first mutual encounter between the two couples. Now there is another relationship going on. Feelings being shared. You can't give 100% to your own relationship when you're sharing feelings with someone else. What's to keep you from doing that? You're already doing half the continent anyway. There is no respect in this type of relationship. Don't even think it's as cool as it looks. Know what you're getting yourself into.
Say it one mo gen!!
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 51
Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 51 |
[color:"purple"] wow, sounds like somone hit a trigger here. might want to think about your concept of connection and sex and everything. for instance, not everything that turns on one person turns on the next. everyones concept of what is ok in thier relationship is different from anothers. just because it isn't the way YOU view something, doesn't for one min make it wrong. a lot of swinging can be very symbiotic. and not all swinging is couples. not all is 'anonymous'. my husband and i swing (when is it NOT called swinging btw- when its a continued relationship?) want a more polyandry relationship with another man. not just a one time [censored] em thing. anyway, off my soap box. sorry Flowr [/color] <img src="/images/graemlins/easter.gif" alt="" />
flowr I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. ~W.B. Yeats ~
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004 |
Because they don't care about the other person. It's easy to be happy in a relationship and screwing other people when you don't care about anyone else but yourself. Why wouldn't you be happy? It's basically a mini-orgy every day. Who wouldn't like that? If you care about the other person in the relationship, how could you let some other guy run up in her? AND WATCH?!! How could you call some one yours wheneveryone has had her? I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I know a guy who had slept with my significant other and told me about it. These type of relations never last on a long term basis because the fact that you don't care about this person enough to watch them get BUCKED will soon lead to one of you having sex with some one without the other person knowing. Or having sex multiple times with some one when the other doesn't know about anything other than the first mutual encounter between the two couples. Now there is another relationship going on. Feelings being shared. You can't give 100% to your own relationship when you're sharing feelings with someone else. What's to keep you from doing that? You're already doing half the continent anyway. There is no respect in this type of relationship. Don't even think it's as cool as it looks. Know what you're getting yourself into. is sharing feelings cheating?
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 19
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 19 |
I�ve seen a few programs on the TV about swinging & they all seem to be very happy, but I have my doubts about this, because if you really love someone you why would you want to share them with anyone else, if they had an affair you wouldn�t be to pleased, so where is the line drawn? Or is ok for swinging couples to have affairs.
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20 |
I can share feelings with anyone. They are called opinions. But when you share sexual feelings you allow some one into an intimate place where there is no gaurd now. You begin to have feelings for this person because you now share that relationship. You just can't shut that off. And if you can, then what of your own relationship. Feelings and emotions are easy to lose control of. It's easy to do. It's human even more. Natural. Human emotions are not to be played with, and swinging is doing just that. Someone's going to get hurt.
Say it one mo gen!!
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20 |
That's exactly what I'm saying. How can you have a healthy relationship when you are sharing your partner? They aren't yours if that's the case. Then why be in a relationship? Just be single and do who ever you want. Someones going to get hurt. Mark my words.
Say it one mo gen!!
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 20 |
Thank you for the insight. I hope that people listen to what you've said and have taken notice of your example. It's not to be taken lightly(Swinging). Someone is going to get hurt.
Say it one mo gen!!
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Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 48
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 48 |
Thread question: No.
They're overlooking a problem with themselves or the relationship with a temporary fix.
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