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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,079
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,079 |
Okay, if a person is happier as a "swinger," what is the point of getting married in the first place?
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Kristen
Kristen Houghton
Author and Relationship Writer
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 314
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 314 |
Okay, if a person is happier as a "swinger," what is the point of getting married in the first place? It depends on what the basis for marriage is, I would think. If marriage is only about monogamous sex then perhaps they shouldn't, but I tend to think marriage has many other factors that make it a desireable state besides that. Shared ideals, companionship, mutual goals, children, and tax exemptions are a few others that come to mind.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004 |
Again it boils down to relationships and sex. A marriage is not about sex only. But swingers are focused on sex. Sex gives pleasure. Sex can be addictive. I think that swingers have no values in life other than sexual enjoyment. I wonder what kind of married relationship they will have? Whether they know about love? Please I don't want to offend anyone here, but in my opinion, these swingers are immoral.
This is the degradation of the cultures around the world, where values are getting a beating. The way people use words is shocking. I read a post of a teenage girl where she had used the f word many times in her post and she was saying that she was a shy person! Those who are shy may not use the f word so often in a public forum. No sanctity is left. Relationships are getting out of fashion. No wonder that in this society we hear of child sex, and all that which makes one feel horrible.
Western civilization grew up after industrial revolution. I am not talking in favor or against anyone. But all western civilizations and India as I see it, are going downhill as far as values are concerned. India keeps on producing fake god men and women. Every Indian can become a yoga or meditation teacher. Dr. Chopra is rewriting kamasutra and will make millions. There will be no lawsuit against him, because the original text was written hundreds of year back. He will sell million copies of that book and then give a lecture and probably write a book or two on values.
It is disgusting. Swingers are part of this. Excuse me, if I have hurt anybody. I wonder that girl Kaavya wanted to make money with her book, but was caught. Dr. Chopra will get applauded. Both belong to the same trade. The popularity of porno websites on Internet tells us about what are the priorities in life. The fascination with celebrities tells us the same story. Morals are lost; values have been sold for a penny.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2 |
Again it boils down to relationships and sex. A marriage is not about sex only. But swingers are focused on sex. Sex gives pleasure. Sex can be addictive. I think that swingers have no values in life other than sexual enjoyment. I wonder what kind of married relationship they will have? Whether they know about love? Please I don't want to offend anyone here, but in my opinion, these swingers are immoral.
This is the degradation of the cultures around the world, where values are getting a beating. The way people use words is shocking. I read a post of a teenage girl where she had used the f word many times in her post and she was saying that she was a shy person! Those who are shy may not use the f word so often in a public forum. No sanctity is left. Relationships are getting out of fashion. No wonder that in this society we hear of child sex, and all that which makes one feel horrible.
Western civilization grew up after industrial revolution. I am not talking in favor or against anyone. But all western civilizations and India as I see it, are going downhill as far as values are concerned. India keeps on producing fake god men and women. Every Indian can become a yoga or meditation teacher. Dr. Chopra is rewriting kamasutra and will make millions. There will be no lawsuit against him, because the original text was written hundreds of year back. He will sell million copies of that book and then give a lecture and probably write a book or two on values.
It is disgusting. Swingers are part of this. Excuse me, if I have hurt anybody. I wonder that girl Kaavya wanted to make money with her book, but was caught. Dr. Chopra will get applauded. Both belong to the same trade. The popularity of porno websites on Internet tells us about what are the priorities in life. The fascination with celebrities tells us the same story. Morals are lost; values have been sold for a penny. i'm sorry you are incredibly wrong. we have been doing this for a while and have been married for 9 years. it is the best thing ever. what kind of marriage do we have...the best one ever. monogamy for many just isn't realistic or ideal and certainly doesn't make for a happy life. if monogamy is your thing...fine...don't knock our lifestyle or what you don't know about. it's easy to criticise something you have never tried
Last edited by nikkinast; 06/05/06 05:52 PM.
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,055
Elephant
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Elephant
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 4,055 |
People who have good commuication with their partners, who are honest and open about both their needs and their wants, and who are willing to work on their relationships are happiest, regardless of whether they are monogamous, swingers, have an open marriage or practice polyamory. Or at least that's what I learned in the three years of sex ed work I did in San Francisco.
What works for someone else may not work for you and vice versa.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2
Newbie
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Newbie
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2 |
we agree with that. to just paint a group of people as immoral is wrong and to question the love they have for each other?
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004 |
I will think again about what you say.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 335
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 335 |
This is an interesting post. I can't speak for others who are happy with this lifestyle because I have only seen it cause problems.... mainly divorce.
Then again I am just an old fashioned gal who married the man I love and wouldn't think about having sex with another. Just doesn't appeal to me. I suppose if I was unhappy it would.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382 |
In my opinion if people feel the need to swing there is something missing from the relationship or they just cant be satisfied sexually with just one partner...I dont understand it and I am so glad that will never be me but its different strokes for different folks!
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004
Wolf
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Wolf
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,004 |
nikkinast has come out very strongly in favor of swinging. I am rethinking about this. I don't want to make anyone feel bad, but personally the whole idea brings a very bad taste in my mouth. I don't know how to be politically correct, but i feel that one is not valuing one's body when one adopts this kind of lifestyle. For me it isa question of how we are changing values in every sphere of our life and then call them modern. I would request nikkinast to look at all the posts in the thread sex and relationships and give opinion there. we have noo right to call any body immoral, but when we feel very strongly about something, we say that. I did the same mistake.
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