BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids This is the most populare forum at bella

I wonder if they don't have the spirited discussions on the other forums that are here. maybe it's a bit stodgy and dull?

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Well, you know it could be dull to them as there are NUMEROUS support groups, tv shows, and so forth that support their desire to have children and what not. This MNK site is really one of the very few things that is available for the CF and proud.
Maybe, they want to know what the other side is like or whatever, but I still think if you don't want to be offended by the CF lingo, don't go to the CF sites. That is very simple. I don't agree with the whole "motherhood is the most important blah, blah, blah, bling bling blah" rhetoric on their sites, so I don't go there and read something that I know I absolutely don't agree with and WILL make me upset.

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My mom, though not the breeder type, has argued with me a couple times about how parenting is the most important job. Hello? So if Susie were to find a cure for cancer, that wouldn't be as important as when she goes home from the lab and wipes butts????

I mean, I suppose you could turn it around and say "if it weren't for parenting, Susie wouldn't be around" but then...if it weren't for sex, she wouldn't be either, so that must be pretty important!

It is, perhaps, important WHEN DONE RIGHT--i.e. to raise productive members of society who aren't freaks or jerks. But just in the abstract, as a thing to do? Nope. Not even close.

Why do you keep posting on this forum? Your response to my "Happy Non-Mother's Day" post - in which you insisted that I had a "chip" on my shoulder and that I am "hostile" to people with children (both are untrue!)- is strange/ironic coming from someone who says they are estranged from their kids!!!...and from your post above......you cannot "have a foot in both camps"!!!!! Maybe on another planet - but not here on Earth - where if you have given birth - you ARE a mother and parent - even if you are estranged from your kids!!!

I can't speak for the other posters in this thread - but I'm here to read posts from other Childfree people!!!!!! We are here to post as Childfree people - so we don't have to show "politeness and repect" when we feel like ranting!!! Perhaps you should post on a parenting board about how parents should have "politeness and repect" for Childfree people?!?!? There must be forums for parents that have difficult or non-existent relationships with their kids - one of those might give your family the help it needs.

Also - in regards to your next post on this thread...I'm sure everyone understood that the word you seem to be making fun of is cf artist - ie Childfree Artist.

I agree with all the other posters - this should be a "No Kids" board!!!!!

There is no rule saying who can and cannot post here. I am personally childfree, and I want to try to be friendly to the childed in order to open up lines of communication and have them understand that there's nothing wrong with us as people and nothing wrong with our life decisions. I think that Alexandra is doing the same thing -- trying to open up lines of communication so that we can all more easily understand each other.

That said, none of us should have to censor our speech, and anyone reading the forums should probably take it all with a grain of salt. We speak in more extreme ways on the internet than we probably would in person, so it's important to approach it with an open mind and to try not to be offended.

Terms like "breeder" are one thing; it is debatable whether this is acceptable. However, it seems unacceptable to wage a personal attack on another poster. This does nothing to further our goals as a group; some of us have the goal of having society leave us alone about our decision. Some of us have the goal of garnering people's respect for our decision. Almost none of us have the goal of antagonizing the childed or anyone else.

I just think that no one should post on here with the specific intention of bullying someone else, and I don't care if it's a parent or a CF. Let's all just chill and get along...give peace a chance! <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I've got a great recipe for banana fritters....oh testicles...wrong forum*

* forget this

Dear dear me.... I seem to have hit a raw nerve....
Simply because I am estranged from my children does not mean that I consider my motherhood to be over, or that I don't love them....
This estrangement was their choice, not mine, and believe it or not, I respect that. Neither have I closed the door to them, and channels for communication are open as and when they choose to approach them.
My 'crime' was to decide on a course of action which ultimately served to make me feel more fulfilled and happy. The fact that I chose to not sacrifice my own contentment in favour of doing what THEY wanted, is the result.
And whilst I appreciate you comment with regard to finding assistance on another forum, I really don't need any help, thank you. The situation is as it is, and will evolve as it will.
So I would say I can - and DO - have a foot in both camps....
Parenthood is a big responsibility. Many embarking on this avenue have absolutely no idea, until the deed is done, just how big a responsibility it is....
I have been a parent for 23 years, and still am... but to all intents and purposes, I might just as well not have bothered....Life is completely and utterly unpredictable. No matter what the good intentions of a parent (be they realistic or viewed though rose-tinted spectacles) the outcome is always an unknown, not a given....
Parenting in general is a thankless task, and not recognised as being monumentally difficult - by either those who choose to remain child-free, or by those who choose to have children.
But knowing what I know now, about my children, and having seen the outcome, I can honestly say I don't know what I could have done to make things any different.
I am not an evil person, I have a sense of humour (hence the CF artist comment - it was a joke, after all - lighten up!!) and I try to be Compassionate and Loving. It's my vocation.
Ask anyone who knows me....
I have forged some very wonderful and real friendships with members of these fora, and enjoy engaging with them - and all and sundry - on any forum I choose to go on.
Ask Freespirit. She and I are very good friends. She chooses to not have children. I chose to have them. We don't let it stand in the way....

Why should I be barred simply because I've used my womb?

People should have politeness and respect for EVERY other Being, regardless of who they are, or what they have done - child-less, child-free or parent, everyone has feelings. Why be selective and segregational?

And no personal attack or criticism was intended when I asked you how you honoured your Mother on Mother's day....I was merely interested to know how you celebrated her life-giving effort.... if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't have the benefit of your opinion, now, would we?

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