BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Do you think you'll ever regret not having kids

thanks, and that is the way you should live life with no regrets.

LOL...as far as kids keeping you young, I think the idea is that you still get to sort of live like a kid and play with toys and such.

Heh. I already do that, thanks. Mind you, I'm not immature, but I also refuse to believe the bunk so many are brainwashed into, that things like legos and sledding and swings at the park and hot chocolate and any sort of fun are just for kids and no longer to be engaged in once you're grown, for whatever anal reason people have for believing that. No wonder so many people are depressed these days--they automatically believe, for whatever reason they may have for not questioning the status quo, that adulthood is some straitlaced tiny certain box they have to fit into, and "fun" means only stuff like playing golf or having your friends over to play a quiet game of Parcheesi or politely laughing at a TV show. Don't be sheep, people, and just do what society tells you to without even thinking to question it!! (I know, preaching to the choir)

Frankly, if I had kids, my funwould probably all be ruined. The kid would want to play with the legos and I'd have to give them up. I'd be too busy pulling them back to the top of the hill and making sure they didn't hit trees to slide down myself. I'd have to push them on the swing, not swing on my own. And I'd be too busy making sure their hot chocolate wasn't too hot and that it had just the right number of marshmallows and cleaning it up after they spilled it to drink mine before it got cold.

I'll keep MYSELF young, thanks.

i dont think kids keep anyone young, yeah you get to play with their toys and often have to play sports with them, and often have to watch the occasional childrens program or movie with them but the downside to all this is that they still stress you out occasionally and you get gray hairs alot faster. and with all the constant running after them you are bound to feel worn out.

This may sound like a wierd question..but have any of you run into someone you went to high school with who has kids and you realize you look 10 years younger than them?

I'm new to this forum also. Just want to say that I'm in my early 40's, never had children and have never for even one second regretted my decision. Over the years I've been verbally "attacked" by lots of "mommies" out there because of my decision. In the end, I can't help but feel, at least in most cases, that it's jealousy on their part. I can't tell you how many people I do know who have children of various ages, that have said, "I love my kids, but if I could do over, I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY!" I'm just glad I saved myself the grief. You have to do what is right for you and if others or your significant other, can't agree, then maybe it's better to re-evalaute the whole relationship. I've seen lots of relationships break-up because one member (usually the woman) was baby-crazy, and the other didn't want kids at all. He/she would give in though, have kids, and instead of it strengthening the union - it ultimately destroyed it. However, what's interesting is that I now find myself involved with a long-time divorced man who has grown children (girls), and at times it's very challenging for me.This sounds terrible, but I DREAD when they start having kids of their own. I have no desire to be a "grandma" (not even a step one at that). Only time will tell I guess, how it all turns out. But just for what it's worth and I hope it is helpful to some of you out there still trying to "decide", it has to be YOUR decision - nobody elses. I just wish people with kids would respect people like me, for my decision.

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LOL Laura, I'm afraid that doesn't apply to me simply because I already look about 6 years younger than I am (yeah, trying being graduated from college and having people assume you're in high school. Not cool).

AFAIK, no one I went to high school with (at least among my friends) has kids yet. Several are either married or engaged, though.

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Looking younger or older than your peers....

Strange thing here...I already look or seem a lot older than my peers, but I think that will turn around once they start having kids. I think it is due to the way I carry myself and the way I talk and dress; I tell people my real age and they are consistently shocked at how young I actually am.

Here's an example: back in October, I went into a pizza place with my younger sister Jenny. She is only one year and a few months younger than me, and she is taller than I am, so I thought we looked about the same age. She ran into someone she knew from school; the "someone" proceeded to ask if I was Jenny's mom. I was mortified!! I was glad later on, though, that I apparently have a certain bearing and maturity that is very obvious to the average person.

It's sort of weird; I am not going gray and I have great skin, so physically my body doesn't look older. I suppose the way you act is very important as far as the age people perceive you to be. I think many busy mothers look older because they're tired and stressed all the time. Poor things...

Last summer I went back home to visit a friend and we were out running errands and stopped at a gas station. A mini-van was parked at the next pump with a woman standing near it � very heavy-set, wearing sweats and a big shapeless T-shirt. I didn't pay much attention to her until my friend called out to her. The woman turned around and I realized it was a girl we'd hung out with in high school - a girl who used to be exceptionally pretty. She was almost totally unrecognizable � I think her weight had probably doubled in the 15 years since we'd graduated � and she had scraggly hair with about three inches of dark roots grown out. It turns out she'd gotten married shortly after graduation and now has four kids. I was pretty shocked by her appearance; if I didn't know her I would've easily guessed her to be in her 40s. The three of us talked for a little bit and the whole time she kept looking me up and down and scowling at me. Finally she said, "you haven't changed much" � she sounded like she was accusing me of something. I couldn't exactly say, "neither have you!"