BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids CF Because of the World's Problems

I really would not be suprised. How much of this [censored] super pc, religious opressing world can the nation take before our collective human tolerance & spirit just snaps?

"I was sexually assaulted at the age of thirteen. The day prior to my rape I was a carefree child who enjoyed life and was truely innocent, the day after I suddenly had the full reality of how cruel the world is and realized that I had to grow up and educate myself on the world."

Pumpkin-

I am so sorry for your experience and completely understand your reasoning. I suffered abuse at the hands of a relative for about 8 years and I think this in large part contributed to my decision. I also spend so much time continuing to heal and grow as a person that I could never have children. I think the statistic is 1 in 3 women are sexually assaulted at some point in their life?? Not sure if that is exactly correct, but the point is why would I ever want to bring an innocent child into the kind of world where even family members can't be trusted? I cringe just thinking about it...

Here's what I don't get.

Some of us don't want kids because we have unhappy childhoods, and from that, we choose to spend the rest of our lives in happiness. That's definitely my case. I hate it when I tell my family I don't want kids, and they say I'll change my mind because I haven't enjoyed life yet.

Well, who says enjoying life is supposed to have a maximum time limit?

I can say that is probably 99% of my reason for not having kids too. I didn't enjoy my childhood by any means, so I REALLY want to enjoy adulthood!!! In many cases that means it truly is "ALL about me." Thank God!

As for your family- what do they mean you haven't enjoyed life yet??? I bet you get quite a lot of enjoyment just from living the way you want to live rather than trying to live up to some idealized fantasy of what grown ups should be. So- good for you!

Strangely enough, why do people always say "why don't you want kids, was your childhood that bad?"

Even my mom has asked me that. I don't get why the hell it matters...

To clarify, Antikid, my family assumed that I'll be enjoying life with my wife for about 10 years, then settle down to have a family afterward. I don't believe in that. Like you, I want to have the best remaining years of my life after having a meaningless 20+ years just to get to this point.

Post deleted by Lynnk

I think a lot of problems we have are best described with one word: brainwashed. Think about it. You have teenagers who think some things are cool and try to pressure others into it. You have parents who pressure you into having kids because they themselves think it's great. You have people who are married and wondering when others will get married. You have kids who make a big deal out of the high school prom and expect others will be coming. In other words, instead of respecting each person for their choices and seeing that there's nothing harmful about them, people are acting like robots following rules without thinking about why they're even doing them.

Quick note: "OldHappy_CF_Guy" is my old account. I wanted a new login name, but wanted to keep "Happy_CF_Guy", so I changed the display name for the old account just to make this possible. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />