BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Battered Woman Syndrome

What do you think about BWS? Should it be considered a legitamate psychological disorder? Are too many woman using this as an excuse?

I think it is a very real and legitimate psychological disorder. When a woman endures great abuse, it is sure to affect her psyche.

I remember when I was in HS, I did a term paper on "Sybil". Even at 17 I was amazed at the mind's capability to protect itself. And to protect certain "beliefs" that almost seem to be a part of us.

Parents are good, parents are loving, our spouse will love us forever, our spouse will take care of us, etc. I mean, look at all the stories throughout time and these are classic themes of love - we EXPECT these people to be perfect; and when they're not, our minds try to protect us from the brutal reality.

So I think that's part of where BWS comes from, and then to top is off, here's the man that she had expected to love her (and she him), cutting her off from everyone else, giving her constantly mixed signals (verbally abusive and putting her down, yet wanting sex?)

And then so many women that are in abusive relationships came from abusive homes to begin with. Yes i'd say BWS is definitely a real thing.

I think it is definately a legitamate disorder. If it has been abused I think it may only be occasionally. I don't see this as an excuse for every abused person to go kill their abuser but I think some women just snapped in the heat of the moment and felt like that was their only way out.

I will be honest with you all. One night after horrible fighting and getting a chunk of my hair pulled from the roots, if it weren't for my then 1 1/2 year old coming into the kitchen, someone would have died that nite. I was serioursly contemplating grabbing a knife and using it. But my little angel got out of bed and came to me in the kitchen. I would be sitting in jail right now if it weren't for him.

A person can only take so much before they take drastic measures to protect themselves. I think the judges and lawyers who say this isn't real need to let someone abuse them for years and see if they don't feel like doing something like what some women have done.

I think it's important that others know what constant abuse does to the victim. The continuity of knowing what is going to happen, and waiting for the next beating, of whichever form it occurs in. The constant walking on egg shells. The constant repeat of the cycle. Around and around it goes...until one day the mind of the victim snaps, and she cannot endure any more of his abuse. At this point, I believe survival is her main focus. She probably sees no way out of the battering. I agree with Jeanette, in that it's not to be used as an excuse to go out and kill the abuser. But the reality is, it happens. Personally, it saddens me to know that there are women in our jails because they killed their abuser in self defense. It sends a message, I believe, that it's okay for the abuser to thrash on his victim, but it's not okay for the victim to defend herself. It's sad.

Does it have to be actual battery to cause 'nervous shock' or psychiatric illness? Surely a constant emotional barrage of abuse can be just as effective and leaves no visible scars. I am certain that domestic violence causes psychological longlasting trauma, and I've experienced both varieties, the physical and the verbal. My point is that I found myself prone to think the verbal 'ok' because it wasn't physical, but that the effects were similar.

Or have I missed the point?

best wishes - Jane <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

No Jane, I believe any type of abuse can cause "nervous shock" as you put it. I still to this day go into a....I don't know how to describe it...shock I guess when someone close to me raises their voice. Like my fiance' for instance, if he raises his voice slightly when he gets angry, I lower my head and try to tune him out. I did this with my abuser to because it made taking the verbal more barable and prepare myself for the physical that would follow. Also, some people close to me think it is funny but it irks me, when someone comes up behind me and touches my shoulders I about jump out of my skin. It is not that I am scared of them but it is just a reaction fried into my brain. I have one friend that will touch me like 3 times in a row just to see me do my little jump.

I truly believe this should be listed in the dsmIV.
many women do suffer from this and it does things to them mentally , spiritually, emotionally, I do not believe women use this as an excuse.
they need to start pushing for stricter laws against stalking , battering because more women are dying needlessly.

I am also a survivior of wife abuse and I am just lucky to be alive and i am very lucky i do have support from my family and women's organizations.

You know what I find really sickening? Some states still have laws on the book "Crimes of passion" that will basically let a man get away with murder if he finds his wife in bed with another man.

Yet in those same states, if a woman were to kill her husband that had been abusing her, she would more than likely go to jail. That's insane!

To Jeanette,

I'm sorry, but the person who touches you 3 times to see you jump is not a friend. S/he is using the cloak of friendship to abuse you by invading your personal space. Please reconsider your relationship with him/her.