BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Why is being childless by choice such a hot topic?

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Yes, it IS crazy, but we know there aren't a whole lot of people out there using common sense right now. Again, as someone wrote, when you deviate from the norm, most folks don't take too kindly to it.

people who have kids do talk about thier children alot, but why they'd do it at work i have no idea, any place away from children who are bad/good can be like a mini vacation, be it work, the grocery store, ect, being a mother myself, i prefer to talk about other things going on in the world, the latest news of a celebrity, american idol, ect parenting is full time job, sometimes its good to atleast take a break from it, even if it means not bringing the children up for a day in a conversation with someone.

I thought this was rather timely to the conversation. A former co-worker who quit to stay home with her baby stopped into the office earlier today, with baby in tow. I decided to hide in my office to avoid all the usual "oohing" and "aahing," but after a while I started noticing how quiet it was outside my door...then I realized my secretary hadn't responded to a couple emails I'd sent. I buzzed her � no answer. I finally stuck my head out the door and there was my secretary and about a dozen other women all crouched on the floor at the far end of the office trying to get the baby to walk to them! My secretary had stopped typing mid-sentence on a letter that I told her needed to go out "ASAP" to go play with the baby for a half hour. I couldn't believe it � here I'd been furiously working on stuff that needed to get to the courthouse before closing (I work at a law firm) and my secretary was missing...she said she just "lost her head" when the baby came in. (Try looking up your a**)

thats funny, people, especially women tend to get star struck around babies...but i bet if the woman asked one of those women you want to take him or her home with you for a day, the wonder of the baby would stop

Isn't that the truth....when people at work bring their kids in (they're older kids) they rip in and out of offices..and everything thinks its adorable.

I'm not sure why the need to label people still persists. I guess it happens, and I'm sure I do it too, although even today we are trying to remove labels. i.e., Morgan Freeman in an interview and faced with the inevitable 'blah blah Black man blah blah' question, stated, I'm just a man like any other. I don't view myself as Black, just a person.

However, I do view myself as child free. I'm not a fence sitter since I sit on no fence and have no ambiguity about anything in my life right now. I made good decisions and was thoughtful about them.

I also don't consider all people who have kids 'breeders.' That seems a bit harsh to lump everyone into that category.

As far as labeling other people goes, I think it's more acceptable to label oneself than to label others. If you have a choice you're proud of, you should be able to label yourself according to it (i.e., childfree). I also use neutral labels as a means of describing a person; I describe people with children as "childed," which seems neutral enough.

I agree with D.P. that it is a bit harsh to label all childed people as "breeders"; the word implies that the childed person is like an animal, since we use "breed" most often when speaking about domestic animals. It seems rather derogatory, doesn't it?

I'd like to mention here that we have had several childed posters who are very open-minded toward the ways of the childfree, and I wouldn't want to call them derogatory names. I also wouldn't want to call all childed people "breeders" because my mother falls into that group, and I want to treat her with respect. After all, she respects my decision to be childfree, so I should return the favor.

I suppose being childfree becomes more of a hot topic when people on either side of the fence start to throw around names and derogatory terms. It is not nice to call people "breeders," and of course, I'm sure many of us childfree have been called unkind names as well.

I like to keep the whole discussion polite...I have my lapses, but I am making improvement! : )

LOL! so true. hadn't thought of it that way, but you make a good point.

I liked your story BTW; well-written. I didn't post on that story thread, however, since I know people who became hollow shells simply because of life choices and in no relation to whether they have kids or not. Nevertheless, I realize that as a writer you were speaking out about something personal to you, which I respect.