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Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212401
10/04/05 02:44 AM
10/04/05 02:44 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,053
Memphis, TN
BellaDeb Offline
Zebra
BellaDeb  Offline
Zebra

Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 3,053
Memphis, TN
I'm glad you posted a reply to Dr. Keith, Michelle. But, I won't get started on him.

Anyway, I hope you get over the "diminished" feeling. I have heard that from other women after hysterectomies, and I've also seen women who shout for joy, so I'm sure it's a personal thing. I don't believe having a uterus is what makes you a woman, though, and I hope your feeling is just that "after-surgery/pain med" temporary thing, or just a period of mourning.

I know future stuff won't pay immediate bills, either, so I'll be praying that you find an intermediate solution that will bring in some cash!

Can you teach kids from your home? Even adults--piano, voice or other music lessons might fit the bill temporarily. Just a thought.

Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212402
10/06/05 12:58 AM
10/06/05 12:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 932
C Lewis Offline
Parakeet
C Lewis  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 932
Hey Michelle, we need to talk! I just had a full hysterectomy this past summer. I'm a mom of 4 and I'm a Christian, but after all is said and done, I'm thrilled that I had my surgery. I was sick for a solid year with the last 6 mo being REALLY bad. It sounds like your surgery was necessary and not elective.

I understand what you're going through. You are definitely not an "it". <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Like Deborah said, not being able to have more children doesn't make you less of a woman. But the loss of those organs and that ability are something that some women truly grieve over. Plus, you're body is going through major changes and those changes will affect a lot!

It's important that you talk to your Dr about the way you're feeling. If you were depressed before the surgery, your depression could go up and down, or the focus of the depression could shift. Believe me, those hormones play a much bigger role in your emotional health than we realize. I'd be happy to talk more about this with you. Maybe we could start another thread so we don't take over this conversation, if you want. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> No pressure, just an offer.


Cheryl Lewis
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Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212403
10/25/05 12:37 AM
10/25/05 12:37 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 63
Denver
R
ReadingEditor Offline
Amoeba
ReadingEditor  Offline
Amoeba
R

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 63
Denver
I found your post to be very surprising and sad. I have no children and i feel like when i tell moms that, they look down on me as "that poor baren woman." Once I was even called an abomination by a Christian woman. I used to feel excluded and not good enough. Then I made a difficult decision to be happy with the life I have. It took a lot of work, but once I got truly comfortable in my own skin then other people couldn't put me down as easily. I agree with the Eleanor Rosevelt quote.


Jeanne Rutgers
Reading Editor
Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212404
10/25/05 01:27 AM
10/25/05 01:27 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Chelle - Marriage Editor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chelle - Marriage Editor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chimpanzee

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 7,189
Lake Lanier, Georgia
Welcome R.E.!
Not to confuse issues, but I am musicalmom, too. I was trying to keep 2 separate names going, but it got too confusing! I have lots of friends that are CF. Some by choice, some because of inability. I AM a Christian, and I feel that; just as God has chosen some people to remain single and not marry, He has chosen some people to remain CF and not raise families. (Lets face it, a missionary's life is much easier and safer when not burdened with children).

And there are some VERY good people here on this CF forum, like I said I was just in a touchy place that particular day (heck, month!) and Dr. Keith's words hit many nerves.


Michelle Taylor
Marriage Editor
Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212405
03/26/06 11:48 PM
03/26/06 11:48 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
HI there

I am a childfree married woman of 30 and I just want to say I have the upmost respect for all of you that "are decent parents" and it really is the "hardest job in the world"
and for those of you who do it well good on you as I cearinally do not look down on any of you.......

On the other hand as a childfree woman I often get nasty coments from people with children and feel that I am not repected just because I dont want childern so it works the other way aswell....

Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212406
09/18/06 07:38 PM
09/18/06 07:38 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
U.S.A.
WaterLily3422 Offline
Gecko
WaterLily3422  Offline
Gecko

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 498
U.S.A.
Quote:
HI there

I am a childfree married woman of 30 and I just want to say I have the upmost respect for all of you that "are decent parents" and it really is the "hardest job in the world"
and for those of you who do it well good on you as I cearinally do not look down on any of you.......

On the other hand as a childfree woman I often get nasty coments from people with children and feel that I am not repected just because I dont want childern so it works the other way aswell....


[color:"orange"]Same here, exept for the fact that I'm only 23 1/2. [/color]


If motherhood doesn't interest you, don't do it. It didn't interest me, so I didn't do it. Anyway, I would have made a terrible parent. The first time my child didn't do what I wanted, I'd kill him."
--Katherine Hepburn
Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212407
09/18/06 07:46 PM
09/18/06 07:46 PM
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 977
Central Florida
JanZeiger Offline
Parakeet
JanZeiger  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 977
Central Florida
I recently went to a small reunion of friends from college. At the table of 9 I was the only woman with children. I have to admit that the reactions to my giving up my career to "stay home" were varied. Some were so supportive and excited for me while others seemed to look down their nose a bit. Sad.

This is my career now. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> It's a choice--not a role I am playing because I have to. I haven't chosen to be a full-time mom because it's my "place" in the world. I've chosen to be a full-time mom because I want to be the one to raise my kids. Life is short and I'm not going to miss a thing.

Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212408
09/19/06 06:20 PM
09/19/06 06:20 PM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
M
MomsPaula Offline
Shark
MomsPaula  Offline
Shark
M

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
Sometimes I get the sense that a career woman is wondering if I am smart enough to have a career. But, I can't truely say for sure if that is accurate or if I am making unfair assumptions. (Maybe she's just jealous.) I know that when I shift the conversation to a place of common ground, showing that we could discuss more than raising kids, I get along just fine with most everyone. Maybe it's the shift from "all about me" mentality that population finds difficult.

Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212409
09/19/06 08:52 PM
09/19/06 08:52 PM
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
C
censored Offline
Chipmunk
censored  Offline
Chipmunk
C

Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,382
I dont think it would be jealousy....Anybody can go out and get themselves knocked up - its not rocket science and even if she could not she could adopt <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Re: Tired if being treated as inferior! #212410
09/20/06 12:46 AM
09/20/06 12:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
M
MomsPaula Offline
Shark
MomsPaula  Offline
Shark
M

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 335
Canada
Sorry to be vague. I don't mean jealous of my kids. I mean jealous of my lifestyle. Not everyone wants to put on a rat suit and run in a race. Many friends of mine who wouldn't dare give up their careers, hate the pace, and numbing routine of their lives.

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