BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids A lot of parents on this board *DELETED*

Post deleted by Lynnk

I am not a parent, I decided I didnt want kids at a young age and now I am confused on my decision. I am half and half now, not sure what I want.
But since I am half and half I see good and bad from it, and in this board people seem to concentrate on the negative and make it sound worse then it is, and maybe on the "parents" board they make it sound better then it is.

So if this comment is towards me in anyway I think I may be more "real" about this subject then a lot of people who are so one sided. Both Parent forums and Parent-Free forums try to make what they want their way of life glamorous and put down the other. When really their are sucky things and Awesome things in both ways of life. I am just trying to decide what one I want while being realistic about it.

This wasn't directed solely at you. I have noticed a lot of parents (or just people who seem to want to change our minds) posting here on several topics. That gets a little hard to take when we (cf's) come to a "no kids" board for support....we get enough grief about being cf in our personal lives.
I see what you're saying...I am sure each side of the debate thinks that their choice is the right choice. However, on a "no kids" board we are going to view having children more negatively than parents. Just as I am sure most parents will claim having children is the greatest thing they have ever done with their lives (even though all I hear from them is complaining about one kid-related topic after another and then they immediately say "it really is worth all the aggravation though." Seems to me they say that because they are supposed to).
I could go on and on about why cf's feel the way we do but I won't.
I can see that you are struggling with your options and I am sorry for that. Hope you figure it out soon. Although, it really does seem that you are leaning toward the "I want to be a parent" route. Good luck!

Well thanks for the Good-Luck. And I am not trying to give CF'ers any grief about having any kids. I was in a "No kid" zone for a good part of my life. Now I am just having second thoughts. But I think people should do what they want with their lives, I'm not here to change anyones mind. just trying to make up my own. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Not sure of your age range...but if it is too late for you to have children or you wait too long to decide, you can always adopt. As I said before, the world is full of children who need good parents and homes.

Well if I do decide to have kids and am still able to (meaning not dried up haha) then I want to try to make one with my husband. I like the idea of a child being part me and him. But if I wasnt able to have children I would look into adoption. I think adoption is a great thing. But I do have this kind of "blood-line" ideal going on.

I had sent the admin a letter a while ago about this very topic, which is why I rarely post here. It is daunting knowing parunts are lurking, ready to troll our posts with nasty replies. I don't go to their forums, so, why are they coming here? If you want to know the truth, parunts should not be on this board. The CF ezboard has Tanglewood, a place for both the CF and parunts...FYI...This is a safehaven for the CF to rant and discuss the issues of being CF. We don't really want parunts butting in, frankly, they often go off topic, and we are trying to form solidarity here. IMHO!

I really appreciate this board. I don't think people on this forum are trying to say that having children is a bad thing; it is just that when you live in a society where it is taboo to admit that you don't want kids, it feels good to let off some steem on a childfree board.

I personally have no problem with anyone choosing to have kids. I think people should make the choice that is best for them. What I have an issue with is the ATTITUDE towards people who choose not to have kids. I am sick and tired of the patronising remarks and insults that I encounter whenever this topic comes up. What I don't understand is why having children is seen as an obligation istead of a choice. People always say to me, "WHEN you have kids, never IF."

Sorry if we have insulted some parents, we are not trying to say that having kids is a negative thing. We just want our choice to be considered a valid one instead of some deviation from the norm.

I also get jaded about parunts posting replies in regard to us beind and staying cf, the fencesitters is another ball of wax!

I think sometimes Parents see all the negtive on the boards too. It makes us look like we are trying to convince ourselves we dont want kids rather then being mature and being okay with our decision.