BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Rant Week Begins - August 2005

Alright Everyone!

You know the drill... If it's rude, crude or said with an attitude, then post it here.

Now, HERE ARE THE RULES:

- No bashing! If someone posts something about etiquette that you disagree with, you can feel free to present your side as long as there is no belittling of the other poster.

-And remember, the general rules of the BellaOnline Forum MUST be adhered to.

Now let the rants begin...

Cursing in public! I understand free speech and all that, but when I am in the grocery store with my 2 year old (who is repeating every new word he hears), i do not really need to hear, "F***ing, this and F***ing that."

And in some people's vocabularies that word, plus 2 or 3 others, seem to come out as often as "the" or "and"!

And you know exactly when my angelic little boy is going to repeat these words don't you? Yep, in church, in front of my pastor AND my mother-in-law!!! <img src="/images/graemlins/wall.gif" alt="" />

Oh, Michelle, I'm so glad my kids are grown. But, they did their share of repeating what they heard in public (and sometimes at home). I don't think the f-word was so popular 20 years ago, though. I actually heard a kid about 9 years old call another kid about 9 a F***er! in my cove the other day. They were on bikes, so by the time it sunk in, they were gone, and don't live on the cove or I would have told their parents, but geez! When I was a kid the neighbors would have washed your mouth out and then told your mom who'd repeat the process.

"The times they are a-changin" huh?

I have issues with the absolute audacity that some perfect strangers have when they learn that after nearly 10 years of happy marriage I not only 1. don't have children, but 2. don't want any, now or ever.

I am a fairly non-militant member of the Childfree community (I don't hate children, I don't propose that humanity should stop breeding completely so that it can die out and save the Earth from its imminent demise from overpopulation, etc, etc, etc...) I'm not snarky or derisive when someone presents me with news of their impending birth, and I at least pretend interest when they drone on at length about their own perfect offspring. But I wonder what makes a person who knows absolutely nothing about me, or my life's choices, or my biology or genetics, or even about my dreams and goals, feel like they can make a judgment about whether or not I should have a child.

Please, don't say that it doesn't happen as much as I make out that it does. I have had people (mostly women, but there are more men who do it every single day) berate me in public for making such a "selfish" decision, and the least objectionable of them simply look smug and tell me that I'll change my mind. I've had perfect strangers in Walmart overhear a private conversation and interject their opinion on the subject. I've had checkout personnel in grocery stores ask me if I have kids (based on my grocery purchases) and when I say I don't and won't, I've gotten every reaction possible from them, and never a positive one.

It is everything I've got not to lambast them with the anger that such deeply personal, none of their business questions and opinions inspires. *sighs* Sometimes its so bad that I'm simply speechless at the nerve.

I couldn't wait for rant week and now I can't remember what I was so upset about LOL. I think it was because my kids are so selfish and I do so much for them and the minute I need one of them to do something for me they are too busy. And I raised this bratt!!

You know, it seems to me that it would be wise for people to not make mention of it period! I mean, what if the couple had been trying for years to have children and couldn't, or what if they'd had a miscarriage?

I'll never understand why we can stand by and watch a grown man beat on a child and say "that's not my business", yet put our noses in everywhere else we want!

I agree with you Michelle.

My personal pet peeve is the "When are you gonna get married" jazz. First of all I'm only 27 as of two weeks from now so I don't think I'm all that old to be getting pressure about not being married. Just because all of my cousins have married and/or had kids with the first guy that says "Hi" and is now miserable, doesn't mean that I have to take that same route. You'd think that they'd be happy that I'm not willing to settle for less than I want. I have a career and I'm taking care of my self and my life. You'd think they'd be proud, but I guess they're not.

A few weeks ago, my great aunt asked me: "When are you gonna get married? I'm ready to go to a wedding."

Yeah, let me just pull a husband out my nose! I mean it's not like there are hundreds of guys lined up outside my door to be the next Prince Charming.

You could always tell her to move to Vegas! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

On Wednesday we made a reservation for Saturday a.m. to pick up a vehicle to move my daughter's stuff back to college. We were told they would call us Thursday with the time. They did not call, so we called them, and they had switched the pickup location from 10 miles away, to 15! Friday they still had not give us a time, we called, they had again switched the pickup to 50 miles away! The next day (Sat a.m.) we called, the location was moved to 40 miles away. I called this location, the guy said "yes you have a reservation, I am looking at it, but we do not have any in, and I close in 1 1/2 hours". At the end of the day we finally procured the trailer, from the original location! But not before they decided our reservation was really on Sunday. <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> They know what DAY the vehicles are due in, somewhere in the vicinity (?), but do not share this vague info. I resent being jerked around for four days, my daughter was told something Different each day <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />and I will never use this company again or recommend them to anyone! <img src="/images/graemlins/wall.gif" alt="" />

I, too am mystified by the collective idea that everyone should get married and have children. By a certain age, too. I was married twice and I have two children (grown) that I love with all that I am, so the only "experience" I have is that I waited five years after I got married to have a child and they started asking about six months after the wedding.

And, now that I'm twice divorced and living with my boyfriend of 3 years with no intention of getting married, well, I just tell people "Marriage makes men stupid and I like him smart". Women understand this--it takes the married men awhile to get it. LOL! Or, I tell them I'm allergic to "the M word"--it causes divorce.

I have a new rant.

I am heavily tattooed. I am absolutely proud of my art, and I love to wear clothing that shows it off. I am aware that having tattoos, and baring them so that anyone can see them invites questions and comments.... I don't have a problem fielding either as long as the person asking the questions/making the comments isn't an [censored] about it. I'm not one of those people who has an attitude (read: chip on my shoulder) about my modifications... I'm pretty open about them, and while I don't expect everyone to understand my choices, I certainly don't discourage them from at least trying to understand.

However... Having tattoos, and being unselfconscious about them being visible to the public does not give anyone the right to invade my personal space and touch me without permission. I have had people move my clothing without asking, I have had people touch my tattoos before they've said a word to me.

I had one woman in a Walmart recently approach me from behind and without saying a word, pulled my shirt down in the back (you could only see the tips of the top of the tattoo over my collar... I wasn't wearing anything that displayed my tattoo to anyone, my collar just happened to allow a peek of about an inch of my tattoo). When I confronted her about it (my personal space notwithstanding, my tattoo was brand new... hence the shirt that covered it rather than displayed it... I absolutely don't want to risk damage to my tattoo because some idiot contaminated my healing flesh with their germy hands and caused an infection) she had the audacity to get affronted that I had issue with her behavior. She immediately assumed that my issue was about sharing my ink, and not with her invasion of my personal space without my permission or my knowledge, nor that her behavior constituted an assault on my person. She's lucky I didn't hit her. I nearly did... I had no idea who was behind me pulling on my clothing, and I had no way of knowing that her uncontrollable curiosity wasn't malicious.

While her reaction and her behavior was among the most extreme that I've experienced, it is by far not the only time I have been violated by some rude individual so intent on satisfying their curiosity that they ignore basic common courtesy. Those same people would flip out if I walked up behind them and ran fingers through their hair because I was interested in the texture of their curls. Y'know?

What is wrong with people today? I will never understand, seriously. *shakes her head*

You'll never have to worry about this one at least. <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
But being pregnant seems to invite the same sort of "here come touch my belly" invitation to complete strangers!

I happen to be rather agoraphobic, and am prone to panic attacks in large crowds of people that I am unfamiliar with (which is why I like this board so much- I can talk to other women w/out the fear). So when a complete stranger somes up and touches a most intimate portion of my body and starts cooing over me I am either 1. paralyzed w/ fear; or 2. get VERY angry and tend to be rather short with the person. Which of course then leads THEM to act like the injured party. Aaaauuuugghhhh! <img src="/images/graemlins/computer.gif" alt="" />

My hubby has 8 tattoos, most of them are good sized and he has never been touched by anyone like that! You must not be very threatening looking. My hubby must be scary looking to others because this doesn't happen to him. He has a huge tattoo on his chest of an eagle and the points of the wings peak out if he has a tank top on. He also has a huge tattoo that covers the area below his knee to his ankle.

My younger daughter is pregnant and also complains of people touching her belly.

<img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> LOL
Yeah, I could see where people might be a little more daunted to go up and touch the arm of a big beefy guy from Oklahoma than a southern belle from Louisiana!

Ok y'all if you want to see a REAL rant, go see my post over in autism spectrum disorders. It's about Yahoo postings on chelation. It fits into etiquette, because there are certain things people just SHOULD NOT SAY on public forums. Especially when it comes to children with disabilities.

(Wish there were someway to make my daisy frown, too!)

Okay, those posts are just WRONG! The Owner of this site recently asked me to write an article on Netiquette. I'd already decided to, but I think I'll publish it sooner rather than later.

Netiquette and Driving Etiquette are fast becoming my biggest pet peeves. It seems as though when people don't have to communicate face to face, they loose all the sense that God gave them.
Just because you're communicating behind a computer or 2,000 pounds of metal doesn't mean you forget your manners.

*chuckle* Y'all have brought a smile to this Southern belle's face. *grins*

I'm 5'9", approximately 300# (I don't have a scale, that's a guess based on my last Dr.'s office visit), and I've got short curly hair that's usually some odd color (right now its black and pink, at the time of the incident it was a beautiful shade of Cabernet).... I don't personally find myself threatening, but I've been told that I'm not the most approachable person. My hubby's 300#+, long hair to his waist, lots of facial hair (he looks like a big biker bear), and people have lifted his shirt sleeve to see the tattoo on his arm.... It doesn't happen to him as often as it happens to me (he does exude a very special, Walmart inspired, "f*ck off and die" vibe when he's at the Walmart, so maybe that's it. *grins*).

I really, really don't know what makes people act like asshats in public... A lot of my friends with babies say the same thing about their pregnant bellies. And most of my tattooed friends say that the more heavily they are tattooed, the worse the people around them act. I'm reminded every time it happens of that scene in Dirty Dancing.... "This is my space, this is your space." *sighs* I wonder if they'd even get it if I said it.

Mine has a shaved head, goatee, 5"9 and about 225 (that he would admit to LOL). He was a biker before it was the "in" thing...I could rant about all these people riding harleys now. We sold the bike and made a hefty profit. Wish I had a few more harleys hanging around to sell.

We could rant together, hon. *grins* I was raised by "real" bikers, true one percenters... My hubby, while he's not exactly a biker in that sense, is (and has always been) one in every other sense.... One of these days we'll have a bike again, I miss riding. Credit Card bikers are easy to avoid.... *grins* They're too busy worrying about the bugs scarring up their paintjob to really ride.

Hubby had commented to one of them...do you see people like me playing golf with you people do you? What I love is them talking about riding to Sturgis...they just leave out the part about hauling the bike in the trailer TO Sturgis. How about when you see them putting around with every piece of leather concievable on...or they still have hanger marks in their new harley t! Harley Davidson has forgotten about all of those decent hard-working folks that kept their buisness alive before riding a bike was the in thing.

Well, since we only have one more day left... Here's my rant.

Office Etiquette... And by that I mean co-worker's etiquette.

Man! I'm so sick of people taking things off of my desk, stealing my lunch from the refrigerator, having conversations with others in my cubicle (I sit near the printer) and jumping into my phone conversations.

All your points are definitely annoying, but major on the lunch thing!

They always told us, be sure and put your name on anything of yours in the refrigerator so no-one else will take it. i'm like, if you know its not yours, DON'T TAKE IT!

I found this rant late. Sorry. But people get on my nerves in general. When I was pregnant, people wanted to touch me. I hate being touched (by strangers) because I am a germ person. I hated when people would stare at me in public both times I was pregnant. I am a young looking 29 yr old. I got carded at the movies until a few yrs ago. Well, I had a woman make the comment about babies having babies when I was 25, married for 2 yrs, college degree, and teaching high school. I thought my MIL was going to beat the woman up. I hated the "I bet you are having a boy" thing too. I had a woman tell me I was carrying a girl with my son. I told her, "No, the sonogram shows a boy." She kept on until I told her my daughter was going to have a [censored] then. When we named our son Thor, we had people that told us they didn't like the name. My fav thing was when I had my son and was in the hospital. I had someone ask when we were having another one. I was like "I just went through natural child birth and my son is in the NICU, can I rest 1 day before you start about another one?"