BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage Bad experiences with doctors

In my experiences, I had a ton of clods as doctors. The bad ones truly outnumbered the good. I've just posted an article at http://miscarriage.bellaonline.com about the worst mistakes doctors make. Feel free to add your own thoughts here.

I went to a doctor to get a prescription for the pill to help regulate my highly irregular periods (skipping 3 months in a row is common for me as my family). So this MD, whom I'd never seen prior, kept asking me questions such as 'Is this really why you want the pill?' amongst others. Granted she is obligated to ask these questions, but her tone and condescending manner made me feel dirty, it was horrible and she irritated me so much. So much so, that I contempated calling the family practice and requesting that it be put on my file that I never see her again.
However, I was the lucky recipient of a customer service survey. And I am happy to say that I've yet to ever have her for any kind of appt since.

Wendy

I once went to see my doctor when I had hurt my foot dancing. I could hardly walk and wanted get my foot xrayed. He refused to xray my food fobbing me off as some paronide silly woman but proceeded to advise me that it was time for me to have a skin check for skin cancers! (Incidently during this consultation I had told him that I had decided to see the female doctor in the surgery for all my "Female" check up in the future as I would be more comfortable with this arrangement.)However he asked me to get undressed dowm to my bra and pants and to sit on the couch. When he came behind the screen to examine me he undid my bra and took it off to check my breasts and proceeded to look down my pants - front and back under the pretence of looking for Sunspots! I never felt so himiliated in all my life and truly felt violated. Needless to say I have never set foot back in his surgery again. I later went to another GP a few days later who xrayed my foot for me only to find a compressed fracture of the "metatarcil"- not sure of that spelling but one of the small bones in my foot which ment I was on crutches for six weeks. Hows that for a Doctor experience!!

My "medical practitioners gone bad" experiences run the gamut. There was the midwife who kept telling me everything is fine, that the fact I wasn't experiencing nausea in the 7th and 8th week should make me feel lucky. And the fact that she could not detect a heartbeat at 9 weeks meant my uterus was tilted. I began to miscarry the next day. When I asked why she did not acknowledge my concerns early on, I was told that they try to keep a positive attitude until something goes wrong. Hello, something was going wrong - I stopped having symptoms of pregnancy!

Second pregnancy: The next doctor refused to test my hCG levels until I told him I'd pay for them out of pocket if I had to. Without paying attention to the levels, he ordered a pre-natal screening. I told the women in the lab taking my blood that I stopped feeling pregnant. One of them had to go to the doctor to tell him and he finally relented and allowed them to test my hCG levels again - only to find they were dropping. Later, when I asked him why it happened, he said "you are asking too many questions that can't be answered."

We won't even talk about the medical technician who left an intra-vaginal ultrasound device inside of me to go out in the hall to speak with someone for 5+ minutes.

Even my very sensitive and kind reproductive specialist was ready to rush me into surgery for a D&C once I insisted on an hCG level (they never believe you when you say you don't feel pregnant anymore) and found my hCG levels hadn't risen. I refused and let it happen naturally using alternative remedies. At least he was open to that, but still scheduled the D&C just in case (talk about pressure).

Luckly, I had a great experience with my OBGYN with both of my babies. I had many problems and she was great. She even spent time in ICU with us after hours, so I would have someone with me. But I did have a dr when I was in college treatment like I was crazy. I hit my head at work. I had a headache and dizziness for 2 days. The company I worked at told me to go to the ER to have it checked out. Not only did they treat me like a moron, but they made me wait forever. There was noone else there. It was some punk dr that was just starting out. I bet he made a great dr with no bedside manner.

When I miscarried, the experience I had with my dr was awful. She had tested by beta-hCG levels a week earlier and knew that they weren't increasing like they should have been. She did the ultrasound and was having problems getting a good look because every time I'd breath the screen would go black. She eventually said, "well this doesn't look like a viable pregnancy, you should probably schedule a D&C". My husband and I didn't see that coming. We wanted answers and she just didn't have time to sit down and talk to us about them. We went 350 miles to get a second opinion and make sure that this wasn't a viable pregancy before making a decision. They confirmed her diagnosis and actually took the time to explain our options. When I called my Dr back to make an appointment for the D&C I got berrated with a number of questions from the nosey receptionist who seemed to think she needed to know everything. When I finally got the appointment, I had to go sit in the office with all of the still pregnant women who were rubbing their stomachs and looking at their ultrasound pictures of their babies, for OVER an hour! To make matters worse, my neighbor who is 6 mos pregnant also showed up. It was so hard to sit there. When I addressed that with my dr a few weeks later, she said that this was never an issue and that her nurses mentioned to her that I was struggling with it. Call me crazy, but when you're about to end the life inside of you and you have to sit with a bunch of women who still have a viable pregnancy, it's like twisting the knife a little deeper. She looked at me like I had lost my mind when I asked if I could have been put in a different room. She was just very unsympathetic. She had no idea what this felt like because she has never been pregnant. What she did say sounded like it came from a text book.

Oh, I have a doozy too. Well, actually a couple. I've had 3 miscarriages and I'm continually amazed at how little the medical field (including the specialists) knows about female reproduction. I'm classified as having 'bad luck.' My husband & I are very healthy we've had every test under the sun and yet they keep coming back w/ these are "unexplained" miscarriages.

Well, my first experience was when I found out I was pregnant the first time. Within 48 hrs. of finding out I was pregnant I had spotting and an ultrasound. They said there was no heart beat and my HCG levels were declining. Not knowing anything about what my options were, what to expect or anything....and being told absolutely NOTHING. I was planning to leave the next day to on a trip we had scheduled months in advance to Belgium & Italy. I thought I should cancel but the ObGyn said "Oh no, don't cancel your trip...go... you'll be fine." That's it ...I kid you not...'you'll have bleeding, sever cramping, or that I would pass tissue" no not a word & no medication...NOTHING. So, I went and I that flight to Belgium was the closest thing to hell I've ever experienced. I've flown oversees several times but on that flight I prayed to die. The stewardists were nice but were no help. They gave me hot water bottles and a few tylenols. They moved me to first class to lie down and asked for a Dr. on the flight, which there wasn't one. Once we landed I was immediately taken to the hospital emergency room that happened to in the airport. The female Dr. at the Brussels hospital was very kind and very suprised that my Dr. didn't tell me what to expect or give me any medication. She gave me a muscle relaxer- shot and pain pills & told me what to expect. I went to give them my credit card when I check out but they wouldn't take it. There was no charge since I was not a resident but a visitor in their country. She saved our trip and was the like a cool glass of water in desert...simple and refreshing.

My gynae is good but I had a terrible experience with the nurses when I have to go through induced labour coz my 5 month old baby died inside me. The staff nurse at the hospital thinks she have "seen it all" and started giving advices that were totally meaningless and absurb to me. She told me I should not have carried other women's baby in my arms when I am pregnant, I should not have went to crowded places.
I was given pills to induce the contractions, when I started shivering, no one tells me that is the side effects. Imagine the trauma of losing the little one and going through labour without knowing what will happen next and what I should expect!
When my baby is born, she looked at my placenta and commented how pale and unhealthy it was. I later checked with my gynae and she said that is nothing wrong with the placenta at all.

I recently got pregnant after trying to have a baby. I went for a gestational sonogram at an estimated 10 or 11 weeks and found that there was no movement and no heart beat. I go again for another sonogram to confirm that the child has died, this Friday. My doctor has been very callous and is pushing for me to get an immediate D & C, since the child is still within my body. I was told that I could not get the remains back because by law they have to test it and that it will be cut up into slices and placed on plates that go under a microscope. I do not want to do this at all, because the idea of my precious child being cut up and experimented on breaks my heart. There is no closure in this for me. I wish to try for a natural miscarriage. I have come to grips with my loss, per say, and have a strong spiritual connection and supportive family which helps. My questions are many about this decision.

What are the risks compared to a D&C? I have been warned away from the natural miscarriage by many because of the risk of hemorage. I have a four year old, and do NOT want to die...but at the same time, I want my baby's remains to bury for my closure. I DO NOT want them to test it and use it for science, and they do not care about my feelings and call my child "Post pregnancy material" which breaks my heart.

My other question is, how long should I wait for a natural miscarriage before becoming concerned? Is there a chance that nature and my body will not take over in the next 6 weeks or so and help me naturally miscarry? If so, what do I do then? What are my options? Are there any laws that I could turn to, or religious foundations that may be a loophole in the law that states I must turn over my precious child for science? I live in Maryland and have met so much resistance from my doctor, other doctors, and the hospital where a D & C would be performed. The sheer anguish this is causing me, and the callous nature of everyone I have talked to is more of a depressive than the actual miscarriage. I want my baby...even though it has passed on, and my heart is breaking because I can not get answers which help with my rights as a mother. According to those in my area that I have talked to...I have no rights.

Please help me if you can.
Blessings and thank you!
Jennifer Harvilak

Hello ariannasage -
I just had a miscarraige last week. I found out on July 11 (at 9 weeks) that my pregnancy was "abnormal" (no other information whatsoever) and my doctor wanted to check my HCG levels to see if they were going up. I found out 5 days later that they were not, they were still very high (32,000) but went down from 35,000. She thought i should get a d&c, yet i had no spotting, and all signs of pregnancy. So I waited for a natural miscarraige. Waiting is agony.

It started happening 2 weeks later and was VERY painful and messy and lasted for 3 days. Are you sure there is a fetal pole in your uterus? There was no baby in my amniotic sac, and my own research tells me it might have been a blighted ovum (egg is fertilized, but body rejects it and no fetal pole forms). Still traumatic - after having thought for 6 weeks that i was having my first baby. After 3 days of passing large clots of tissue and blood (sorry for the graphics), my bleeding was less, but I felt something was not right. I went back to the doctor (still completely uncaring and uninformative) to find out part of the amniotic sac was still attached to my uterus and blood clots and tissue were essentially forming a cacoon around it. So she did a d&c. She was so rushed that she did not want to give me any general anesthesia, told me since my cervix already dialated it would not hurt. A direct lie. It was both physcially and emotionally excrutiating to feel her essentially rip the remaining part of the amniotic sac out of me. Talk about a bad experience with a doctor.

So, in response to your question. Yes, you probably will eventually miscarry naturally. I doubt they would "cut up your baby" - especially if this is your first miscarriage. But they should not do anything you do not want them to do. After my experience, though, if this ever happens again (and I pray it doesn't), I would find a doctor i trust and -when absolutely sure there is no baby forming - get a d&C - with anesthesia. It is enough emotional pain to have to go through all that physical pain too.

One place i got a ton of information from is http://www.pregnancy-info.net/QA/. I hope that helps. Best to you.