BellaOnline Forums News and Politics Animal Life Something new for this board:

Heard any good jokes lately? Specifically, ANIMAL jokes? Not to get out of hand and off on a tangent (who, *ME*???), but maybe in this thread, we can post some funny animal jokes. I have a whole stash in a file but I promise not to hog (pun intended) the thread! I will go first, though:


What do you get when you cross a skunk with a bear?

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Winnie the Pooh!
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One more:


What happened to the leopard who took 3 baths a day?

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After a week, he was spotless
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OK Shelley, next week when I'm with the second graders I'll ask for some jokes to share. I'm sure they would enjoy the two you've shared.

OK, just thought of one....We all know why the chicken crossed the road. Well, why did the chicken cross the playground?
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To get to the other SLIDE (ba doom boom - ch!)
That was the old drum at the punch line, by the way.

Sheesh! Where is everyone? Do we have to send you all back to elementary school, to learn some jokes??!

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Groan Alert:

One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful.

"I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey."

"That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws."

"I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you."

Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all. . . hawk, lion, and stinker.
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<img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Here are two quick jokes. Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station. And the second joke that I learned in elementary school. What did the fish say when he was put in the frying pan? "Boy, this burns me up!" Hope you liked these silly jokes. sincerely, moose

The big bad wolf comes to the house of the 1st little pig. "Give me your money," he demands. The pig runs into the house, breaks open his piggy bank, and carries the money to the wolf. The next day, the wolf goes to the 2nd little pig's house. "Give me your money," he demands. The pig runs inside, grabs his wallet, and hands all the contents to the wolf. The next day, the wolf goes to the 3rd little pig's house. "Give me your money," he says, rubbing his paws together. The 3rd little pig walks inside and makes a phone call. "Well, where's my money," the wolf says, growling. "It's coming," the third little pig says. He sees his brothers watching, panic-stricken off in the field. A few minutes later, a black limo drives up. Three creatures get out, beat the tar out of the wolf and drive off. The 2 pigs off in the field come running up, "who were they," they ask. "Oh," the 3rd little pig says, "those were our cousins...the guinea pigs."

(my apologies to any Italians in the audience...) :kiss:

Thanks, gals! That's better! <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


A woman had a faithful cat. And one day, a man ran over the cat. So, he went to the woman and said: "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him."
"That so nice of you!" said the woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?"

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well, I don't know about dolphins, but my dog has me trained to open the door whenever she rings the chimes hanging from the doorknob. And my cats definitely have trained me well.

Sorry, I just can't think of any animal jokes. I will keep trying though.