Hello
There is so much I want to say. The number one priority is you and the families welfare. Research places of safety in your area, always clear history from computer or use the public library resources. You say you have no network of friends or family. Is it possible for you to reconnect with family and friends? If not, you must try to build some support networks around you. Lighthouse, I know you say you love your husband, love comes in many different forms. Love does not come in the shape of fear or embarrassment, Love does not come in the shape of threats or physical/mental pain. You cannot rescue your husband from his thoughts or actions. You can rescue you and your family.
You have to find an enormous amount of strength to make important decisions. Lighthouses send out a beacon of light to warn ships of dangerous rocks or currents. Lighthouse use your beacon of light, your inner resources to warn you of any danger around you. Life does not have to be this way. You need to find your inner strength, stay calm, plan.
