First off, I want to say how happy I was to discover this site a few years ago. Reading about other people's experiences and seeking advice on my decision to not have children has helped me so much.
Second, on to my issue. My husband and I have been married for almost 20 years. We never wanted children. I'm 43 and he is 44. Last year he had a vesectomy.
Growing up, I never saw children as part of my life plan. Then, my sister had two boys and I saw how unappealing the life of raising children is. My friends have school-age children and that lifestyle is so unappealing to me.
To be clear, I LOVE my nieces and nephews and would do anythng for them, but I never wanted to have the responsibility of kids. I love the freedom I have in my life.
What scares the hell out of me is that there are periods of time when I wonder if I will regret my decision. The kid feelings creep up over and over. I'm tired of questioning my decsion.
Recently, my cat disappeared and I was devastated. Since then, I keep thinking /wondering if I made the right decision. My head doesn't want kids, but my heart feel empty and I'm terried I will be lonely and alone when I'm old.
I'm a nurse and I see so many patients (most with kids) who are lonely because no one comes to visit them. I know that having kids is no guarantee you will NOT be alone. I feel such a battle between my head and my heart. I'm tired of these emptiness feelings coming up over and over. I just want to be to stop worrying about being lonely or regretting my decision.
If anyone can help that would be great!! Thanks!
