I am straight, but I had to answer your post, because I think what you explain here has nothing to do with gay relationships first or last, it has to do with giving up power, and you have given way too much power over to this woman. You are afraid of her and of her reactions, even afraid that she ignores you (which is actually the best thing that could happen). I would go on with my life pretending she never existed, minding my own business. Probably you were in a very delicate situation when you met her and maybe that is why you dragged yourself into such a toxic relationship, but I think you really need to work on your self esteem or you will get hurt again. People who love you are nice to you, run away from those who are not.
I wish you get over this as fast as possible, get on with your life as it is, and raise your standards when it comes to starting a new relationship.
Happy New Year to you too.
