Can you make it an alcohol-free dinner? I'm sure people would ask why, but it's your home and your choice. That might prevent some problems.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. That's one of the reasons I go out of town away from family at Thanksgiving. I am usually at the beach or overseas. My parents are usually okay with it since I spend Christmas with them (and I see them nearly every day anyway).
Anyway, talk to your husband (you're in this together) about an alcohol-free dinner. It might be the key. I've seen wines like Cabernet Sauvignon with the alcohol removed. It looks the same, but it just doesn't have alcohol. That might be a way to go.
