BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I guess I am a fence sitter...introduction

I just wish I was more [u]passionate[/u] about whether I want a kid or not. I believe you must REALLY want a baby in order to be able to confront all the challenges it brings and do happily so. For as long as I can remember I wanted to get married and have a husband, I wanted it so badly that now that I'm married, whenever life-is-not-so-rosy with husband, I stand up to the challenges because I remind myself that THIS is what I wanted. Nobody forced me to live with a man, I CHOSE this myself. So I don't complain, I don't feel sorry for myself, I somehow gather the strength to make my marriage work, and that's what keeps me going and I'm happy. I guess it may be the same with a child. I MUST want it so badly that when I will be confronted with challenges and difficulties, I will remind myself that I CHOSE to have this child, that I CHOSE to live all the joys and pains that comes with raising a child...Just like I CHOSE to live all the joys and pains that come with living with a man 24/7. I just don't know if that passion will ever come, and my clock is ticking, and I'm afraid I will be undecided forever...