So I know I'm not a stepmother, but I thought this would be a good place to get advice from mothers that are. I already posted in the relationships forum and touched on this subject.... I am dating a separated man 9.5 years old then me and whom has a 4 year old daughter. He is trying hard to finalize his divorce and custody issues. We have been together for about 10 months and are madly in love with each other and want to get married ourselves. We talk about marriage, children, beliefs, everything and are on the same page throughout. He has his daughter every tuesday and every weekend. I avoid him those days and only get together with him once he brings his daughter to her mothers house. I will see them for family events and whatnot, but typically if its just a day around the house, I'll sit at home by myself...even though its killing me cause I want to be with him. We work together and spend 4 or 5 out of 7 nights together and every other minute we can and its just not enough. We want to be together more. His daughter is very sweet, she gives me lots of hugs and kisses, tells me she loves me all the time, always wants to play with me, and gets very excited when she sees me. She even askes her father where I am when I'm not there. I have no issues with her, just issues dealing with the fact that she's there. I wish my boyfriend didn't have a child and I just can't seem to get past this. I notice that when I do come around her, I am instantly not myself and I become angry, irritable, distant and it causes arguements between me and my boyfriend. Arguements that I start because I'm grumpy she is there. He is very understanding and I have been extremely open with him - maybe more then I should have about how I feel about her. He always does his best to try to lift my mood and be there for me, but it doesn't work. I just feel like I'm in competition with his daughter for him and his attention. I get especially upset if I'm having a converstaion with him or sitting with him and she comes and interupts for his attention or wants him to come with her somewhere. I've even told him flat out - I'm jealous and feel envious with your 4 year old daughter. Stupid - i know. But i just can't help it. Why is this so bothersome for me? Why can't I just accept her as she so willingly accepts me? She has done nothing wrong and neither as he....I'm just stubborn in my thoughts and can't let go of my lifelong wish to not be with someone who has been previously married and/or has kids -- but he is the one for me and I want to get over this to really enjoy myself and not cause any troubles for our relationship in the future once we move in together and move our relationship forward.