Kristarae, have you considered getting counseling? What you have been through is really too big for you to take on by yourself. Your grief, that is something that you will have to take on. But the next step, the way you reply to things, you can get help for that. You can't just avoid this conversation. But professionals will help you talk to each other without the terrible misunderstandings that could end your marriage.
Marriage counseling is not failure. It is learning the tools to keep a deep and lasting connection with your husband, and to always be able to communicate what you really want to say.
