(Prepare for rant, starting in 4, 3, 2...)



ARGH!

You're right -- that's an ignorant piece of garbage right there. Whether you take that to mean the article or the breeder who wrote it, is up to you.

"So this isn't so much an independent decision not to have children, as a fear of not finding 'the one' to have children with."

Grr....as a happily married woman, this part of the article has me quite irritated. I love my hubby...he is perfect for me, and he is wonderful with children too. However, we just don't want any! This person needs to get it through their thick skull that plenty of couples want to enjoy each other and not have some screeching brat in the way of their relationship. If anything, I imagine a higher percentage of the childfree are confident in their relationships -- they already have something they value very much in life, and don't see any reason to mess it up. Also, none of these people ever seem to think about childfree husbands and wives caring for each other in old age -- I have definitely seen childed elderly couples taking care of each other more than their children take care of them, so I imagine growing old as a CF would be similar (although the CF will probably have more money laying around...).

"It's universally known that the most important ingredient in happiness is your intimate relationships with others."

This is rubbish -- it's just opinion, NOT fact. No one truly knows the secret to happiness. It would seem that the path to happiness is different for everyone, and many people are happier alone than surrounded with loud people. (I would fall into this group.) A good place to start, though, is the idea that happiness is a choice, not something dependent on one's lifestyle. I hate getting into the whole war of "I'm happier than you because of my lifestyle choices"...it's so stupid and petty to bring it to that.

And on the "who impresses you most" portion, I pick NEITHER! Both having children and being an important executive seem to do more with animalistic desires: procreation, consummation/hoarding of resources, status and control over others. BOTH PATHS ARE SELFISH. I am much more impressed by spiritual devotion, academic education, artistic creation, and selfless volunteer service to the community. In other words, I am impressed by things that require us to think about more than ourselves...things that allow us to reach out to our communities and our universe...things that require full use of our gifts as human beings, our minds and souls. Animals can reproduce, so focusing one's life around breeding makes one an animal. Animals can hoard resources and become the head of the pack, as it were, so focusing one's life around a big career is also similar to what animals do. But there are things we humans can do that are totally unique -- anyone who gets too immersed in breed and/or greed will miss out on all the things that define us as humans, distinct from the animal kingdom.

There are more things to achieve and attach to in life than a job or a kid. People need to expand their horizons, which is exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm not tied down to anything that will eat up my time and resources -- not a child, not a career, not anything. I'd rather be an explorer of the world and all it has to offer.

And so, perhaps this is why so many of the childed don't understand us -- they don't have the boldness needed to expand their horizons and imagine what they could do with their lives.

Having kids is following the script.

Focusing solely on career is following the script.

You need to throw the script away, and find what it really means to be human!!


No one great was ever remembered just for having kids or just for having a good career. Remember that.


(Rant over.)

Anyway, thanks for the article and comments, Hatsumomo. I really relate with what you had to say about it. I hope my rant didn't detract with or counter any of your points, because I thought they were good ones. Believe me, my anger and the comments that followed were intended for the narrow-minded jerks who tell us we're wrong for our lifestyle choices.