My husband's grown son is a nice, hardworking kid who just finished his Masters degree and is going into the Navy as a Chaplain next month. He lives in another state. During the interim wait, he quit his job, left his apartment, and will be staying with us for a month.

This sounds petty, but I spent a week fixing up and arranging the spare bedroom - painted, cleaned carpets, etc. I arranged the room so he has storage shelves in the closet, and used a bookcase behind the bed so he had a place for a reading lamp and books/radio, etc.

I was surprised that he immediately rearranged the room, pulling out the bookshelf. He explained later that he needed the room, but upon looking over his things, it appears more like he was utilizing his available space poorly, not that he needed the room. At any rate, if I were a guest somewhere, I wouldn't think of rearranging furniture in the host's guest bedroom, and I must admit, it bothered me that he did it without asking permission.

I don't intend to say anything - like I said, he's a good kid and I'll let it pass since it's not a long-term arrangement - but I just wanted to check my impressions with others - Is rearranging furniture in your host's guest bedroom okay if you are the guest?

Thanks for any and all replys!

I completely understand how you feel. And I think that if he were staying only a few days, then he shouldn't have moved the furniture. But since he's staying for the month, it's okay to allow him to be comfortable in his designated space.

Just make sure to let him know that although you don't mind him changing the room, you want it back the way it was when he first arrived before he leaves, since that would be the considerate thing to do.

Since he's family, I wouldn't stress about it much. But I do think you are right: he should have asked you first.

<b>Anyone else have similar/different thoughts????</b>

Thanks, Kennie, for the validation! My husband feels honor-bound to excuse his any rude behavior his family exhibits, unless it affects him directly. Which leaves me, at times, doubting my own perceptions. I appreciate your input.

I agree with Ms. Brown. There was a time where I was staying with my father for an undetermined duration (understood to be a month or more) and I was given the guest room. While I did not move the furniture around, I would have probably asked before I would have.