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Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 235
BellaOnline Editor Shark
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BellaOnline Editor Shark
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 235 |
Debbie, you have a beautiful spirit...it would be a shame not to let someone in to share that.
I understand the wall you have built up, my "knight in shining armour" has worked for nearly 20 years to finally chip away enough of it for me to feel comfortable completely opening up. There is always that safety in never letting someone too close. In the same token, you miss out and push people away when you do that.
Someone would be lucky to have you in their life, and I believe your boyfriend would feel the same way.
Tea in spirit...I like that idea! :-)
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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OP
BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Thank you, Bettina. Your words mean a lot to me. It seems that the guys in my life did not value my spirit like I valued theirs.
I know my boyfriend always wanted me to be happy, and I am sure he knows that right now I am not happy. I find a joyful moment here and there, but in general all I can hope for right now is to reach a peaceful place. I know in my heart that he'd want me to move on and enjoy life, even with someone new down the road if I so choose.
He was one to appreciate the physical aspects of a close relationship, and I am sure he would want me to have that again. But that is where my biggest problem lies. I have to trust immensely before I let someone get that close to me, and I trusted him completely, more than any man I knew....even my two former husbands. At least two out of the three men in my life cheated on me, and it could very well be that all three have done so. This is something I just can't push aside. I tried to believe the best in these men and they abused my trust in them.
From online sources, tv, and other avenues, sex is shoved into your face. What should be intimate, caring time, a spiritual bond of sorts between two people in love, is made to be cheap and readily available for the sheer thrill of it all. It is too easy to get the quick fix, with so many people willing to participate in such activity. Intimacy is no longer regarded with sacredness like it should be. It sickens me, and I can't trust men now because of my experiences with infidelity that I can't discuss here. Once I am with someone in a serious relationship I can't even think of being intimate with another person, but the men in my life have treated my loyalty with disrespect. They did not even respect themselves. And it is not that I suffocate my partner, but I encourage him to have his own hobbies and see friends. Seems that having time away from me means playtime with other people.
With how deeply I love I really don't think I can do all this again. I know taking a chance is taking a big risk. I have always been open with my heart when I could sense I was with the right person, and it is not easy to find the right person as it is. But now I really don't know if I can survive another heartbreak, and this last break is really taking its toll, so soon after the devastating divorce from a man I considered to be my soulmate. It will take quite some time, if ever, that I will go down that road again. I need a lot of healing time, and time for myself.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Nov 2007
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
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Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644 |
Debbie, this is a great idea to bring people together and chat about whatever is on our spiritual path and issues related to it.
Taking the time needed to heal the spirit is so important. We have a choice when it comes to healing the spirit. We can work at it, exploring all the issues from the dark side, finding out what makes our spirit soar with joy, get in touch with Nature, so many things we can do to lift our spirit.
Walk in Peace and Harmony. Phyllis Doyle Burns Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Thank you for commenting, Phyllis. It is true that healing the spirit is about dealing with all the good and the bad, and finding what brings joy and peace within, so that harmony can be restored. It does take time after a devastating event, and it is well worth taking that time and not sweeping things under the rug. I have chosen to take time to work on my spiritual healing, and I think in the long run I will be in a much better place.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
What is going on today? Anything new?
Are you engaging in activities that nurture your spirit? Are you doing some things just for yourself today, or do you feel stuck at work or in other activities that you don't really enjoy doing? Do you set aside time for yourself or are you finding yourself too busy? Please share.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Good day to you! What are you all going to do with your time today?
Last edited by Debbie-SpiritualityEditor; 09/08/12 08:54 AM.
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Are you ever moved to tears when you are in the presence of something extremely beautiful?
I have found myself weeping when I hear beautiful music that touches the very heart of me, when I hear an amazing voice singing, when I see a man tenderly interacting with his young child, and when I see an incredible sight in nature. I have cried watching horse and rider doing dressage....where both engage in a type of dance.
Do you ever feel so touched by beauty that you cry?
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391
BellaOnline Editor Wolf
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BellaOnline Editor Wolf
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,391 |
Debbie, Sometimes it doesn't have to be beautiful to bring me to tears. I cried at the end of Toy Story 3, because I watched it as my daughter was going off to college.
I am moved, however, when music deeply touches my soul.
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Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 423
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 423 |
Nothing new Debbie. Boring life and boring routine.
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Joined: Jan 2010
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
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BellaOnline Editor Elephant
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,808 |
Jennie........boring is not so good after a while, is it?
Are you following your dreams? Are you taking enough time for yourself to get to know just who you are and what you want to do with your life?
Debbie Grejdus Spirituality Site Editor Spirituality Forum Moderator
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