BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage trouble with husband hiding his porn addiction

Obsessive tendencies isn't going to change what's going on. So, in a way,fate is exhausting mute effort.

Healthy porn isn't so bad, it's when a person prefers porn over a human being or isn't turned on unless an "on-line" version of porn can be re-created, there can be a problem.

Pixles and airbrushing aren't real. It's as Lori mentions, 'a visual.'

As a fiance, I know it can feel you have already invested so much. But, marrying an addict? You'll invest more.

Engagement = assessing the future with the man or woman you'll spend the rest of your life with...or a good part of it anyway.

Speaking from a man's point of view, I think that viewing porn in moderation is perfectly normal! When you get into the weirder stuff then it can get tricky but imho as long as your man isn't ruining his life by chronically masturbating (ie. in the workplace or if it's preventing him from having a social life) then it's probably not that big of a deal. Also, just because he watches some weird stuff doesn't mean that he would act on it in real life... i watched the movie "hostel" and i'm not gonna chop up tourists, you know? That said, i'm no psychologist. it's just my opinion. thomas

I saw that movie. Kind of gross really, lol.

But, ya, I agree. Porn by itself isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I think - what I'm getting from these posts is that somehow porn is getting in the way of a fluent relation in the physical sense with their mate?

Even if it doesn't cost someone their job, if it gets in the way of a closeness within the relationship, that's a tough one. Because once you've seen some of the things you can via the internet, it's hard not to know that you have.

It's like the sexual boundaries have been crossed and now the "ho-hum" is just that, "ho-hum."

Looking through some of this stuff myself, it's kid of hard to turn yourself blue and grow horns. But...hey there's always tomorrow

Yeah there's DEFINITELY some strange stuff on the internet!! lol I agree with you though Elleise... if it's ruining your relationship then it's a big problem. If he's just hiding his casual porn viewing though it could be because he's embarrassed...

True. Lurid, taboo images can fascinate many people. HOWEVER, he is being turned on by incest and beastiality and that is disturbing. (I'm no prude, but one crosses the line when there are victims involved.)

Not being able to tear away your eyes from perverse images is one thing but being sexually stimulated by them is another.

You're comparing apples and oranges, thomas, when you say you can watch violence without wanting to commit violent acts. If this man is getting turned on by incest, he most definitely would be tempted to commit it if given an opportunity.

Hi Lori:

I am glad I decided to stop by your forum. I had posted about porn several months ago and have learn't some additional info from this new post. Thank you for taking the time to offer both comfort and info that has helped ME better understand. With me, it does not seem to be an addiction and I am working on not checking the dvd as I pass them(lol). Yes, those with all those "X"...

I had this problem with my first husband of 13 years. We NEVER had sex but boy, he loved his porn. We were much older though, I was 27 and divorced him when I was 40; he was 8 years older than me. I just attributed it to the fact that he didn't want to have sex with me. My current husband and I enjoy watching porn together to keep things interesting, and it's a lot of fun!