logo

THIS IS THE NEW SERVER - WE ARE STILL TWEAKING IT
Channel List
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Newest Members
wabbithung, RugGirl, MichaellWaugh, Sandra Figg, Lienkie
58105 Registered Users
Forum Stats
58,105 Registered Members
417 Forums
117,355 Topics
834,937 Posts

Most users ever online: 615 @ 04/22/15 10:11 AM
Top Posters (30 Days)
"Rosie" 394
Nancy Roussy 322
Connie - ADD/Sandwiches 186
Mona - Astronomy 94
freekundli 45
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames 38
Deanna - New Age 29
Angie 26
Angela - Drama Movies 14
Korie - California/Yoga Editor 12
Ad Income Supports Charity
Topic Options
#726229 - 11/17/11 02:24 PM How do you say no?
KellyJayne - Organization Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Amoeba

Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 94
We are about to officially enter the holiday season. With that come the demands. Especially the demands for our time and money. It's far too easy to say yes to every request that comes along. Especially for women, we tend to be wired to please. We hate to disappoint. But it's just not prudent, nor healthy to say yes to every request. Too many yeses will send us to the land of resentment. And that's not a pretty place to visit.

So the question is what can we do to to regain some balance? How do you say no and feel good about it? Or do you find yourself struggling with it and saying yes more than you would like?
_________________________
Kelly Jayne McCann
Organization Editor

Don't forget to sign up for the How To Organize Newsletter. It's filled with practical tips and links to great resources!

Learn about me - I teach people how to organize, clear clutter, set goals & get things done!
My mantra: Clear your clutter - Find your happy!

Top
#726233 - 11/17/11 02:32 PM Re: How do you say no? [Re: KellyJayne - Organization]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
It's not that I wish to please, I think. I am way too self absorbed for that. but that I hate to be perceived as a slacker, a failure or disorganized person. That is why for me it is hard to say no.

Top
#726236 - 11/17/11 02:38 PM Re: How do you say no? [Re: KellyJayne - Organization]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1358
Loc: Illinois, US
Welcome Kelly Jayne!

You are so right. I was the 'yes' girl. Only recently have I found my power of 'no'.

How do I do it? I often start out saying, let me think about it. Then, if my spirit (or my schedule) never feels like yes, I simply say "No, not this time." Or, "No, maybe next time." Or, "No, I've got too much on my plate already." Or, "No," with a smile of course; in these instances I only offer a reason if I am asked. Sometimes the answer is, "I feel like something else is lurking in my schedule & I just don't have it on my calendar," because that is usually the truth.

I must say, I've also prefaced everyone on the fact that I am learning to say no.

I am thoroughly enjoying the rewards. I've committed myself to making this a habit (thinking b4 committing).
_________________________
Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration

Top
#726341 - 11/18/11 04:45 AM Re: How do you say no? [Re: Yvonnie-Inspired]
KellyJayne - Organization Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Amoeba

Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 94
Hi Yvonnie. Good for you! It sounds like you have mastered the skill of saying no. It's not always easy to say no but it sure makes life more enjoyable in the end. I love your phrase "thinking b4 committing". Thanks for sharing!
_________________________
Kelly Jayne McCann
Organization Editor

Don't forget to sign up for the How To Organize Newsletter. It's filled with practical tips and links to great resources!

Learn about me - I teach people how to organize, clear clutter, set goals & get things done!
My mantra: Clear your clutter - Find your happy!

Top
#726344 - 11/18/11 04:56 AM Re: How do you say no? [Re: Jilly]
KellyJayne - Organization Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Amoeba

Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 94
Hi Jill. I totally understand how you don't want to be perceived as a slacker or in any other less than flattering way. I struggle with that same thing sometimes. But I wonder if it's really true or have I projected what I think people will think. When someone says no to me I never judge them, so it's not realistic for me to think others are judging me. What I am trying to say is I doubt we have any evidence that would support the belief that people may see us in an unflattering light when we say no. It's more likely they will respect us for setting appropriate boundaries.
_________________________
Kelly Jayne McCann
Organization Editor

Don't forget to sign up for the How To Organize Newsletter. It's filled with practical tips and links to great resources!

Learn about me - I teach people how to organize, clear clutter, set goals & get things done!
My mantra: Clear your clutter - Find your happy!

Top
#726345 - 11/18/11 05:03 AM Re: How do you say no? [Re: KellyJayne - Organization]
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 01/04/04
Posts: 21704
Dear Kelly Jayne -

We have a free online course here on learning to say no -

http://www.bellaonline.com/course/

I think much of it is practice! The more we can practice saying no, the easier it gets over time!
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum

Top
#726348 - 11/18/11 05:25 AM Re: How do you say no? [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]
KellyJayne - Organization Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Amoeba

Registered: 10/07/11
Posts: 94
Originally Posted By: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames

We have a free online course here on learning to say no -

http://www.bellaonline.com/course/

I think much of it is practice! The more we can practice saying no, the easier it gets over time!


That's great to hear Lisa. I will remember it as a resource. I include a question of the week in my newsletter along with a related how-to micro article. This week the question was 'how do you say no', hence the posting here. Hopefully some readers will pop on over and chime in.
_________________________
Kelly Jayne McCann
Organization Editor

Don't forget to sign up for the How To Organize Newsletter. It's filled with practical tips and links to great resources!

Learn about me - I teach people how to organize, clear clutter, set goals & get things done!
My mantra: Clear your clutter - Find your happy!

Top
#726357 - 11/18/11 07:02 AM Re: How do you say no? [Re: KellyJayne - Organization]
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk

Registered: 02/18/11
Posts: 1358
Loc: Illinois, US
Practice makes perfect...

I believe this, thus my commitment. Kelly Jayne, I am still practicing.

Love your question of the week idea. I think I'll try it.
_________________________
Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration

Top
#735254 - 12/28/11 04:03 PM Re: How do you say no? [Re: KellyJayne - Organization]
Jilly Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Registered: 02/26/03
Posts: 14392
Loc: Verde Valley, AZ
I have some people that want more free time from me than i have. I really don't know how to tell them no without sounding like I don't like them. Suggestions?

Top

Moderator:  KellyJayne - Organization 

Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Brand New Posts
Gum Recession
by Nancy Roussy
Wellness
Today at 02:20 PM
What Did You Write Today?
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Fiction Writing
Today at 11:23 AM
New Agatha Christie Film, Crooked House, Filming
by Angela - Drama Movies
Drama Movies
Today at 09:54 AM
Salad Time
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Low Carb
Today at 09:51 AM
What do you Have for Breakfast?
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Low Carb
Today at 09:49 AM
Weekly Monday Weigh-In
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Low Carb
Today at 09:45 AM
Annette Bening, Elle Fanning New Film and Trailer
by Angela - Drama Movies
Drama Movies
Today at 09:40 AM
Favorite Music Band
by Nancy Roussy
Pop Music
Today at 07:22 AM
What Yoga did you Do Today?
by Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames
Yoga
Today at 06:58 AM
Ghosts of Garnet, Montana
by ParanormalHost
Paranormal
Today at 06:15 AM
Register to Post!
Want to post? For security reasons you need to Register as a Forum Member. It's quick, easy and free!
Forum Activities
Book Clubs
Trivia Contests
Who's Online
0 registered (), 47 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Ad Income Supports Charity



| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2015 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.